kingdomdressing | (no subject)

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xion

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[There's a new face among the Dressing Room. On the floor in the room that simulates Never Was, mind you, and unconscious. Which is probably a good thing considering fragments, blue in color, are still collecting, creating her form. Most of herself has been retained by then though. All that's left are her legs and they'll probably recollect before anyone draws near. Her hood is up, but the small frame makes it pretty obvious who it could be for anyone who would know her.]

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[Reflexes spurred Roxas to action before he could really give much thought to his friend's query. As soon as he saw her falter, he rose to catch her, his right arm curling around her side to support her. Which at least for a moment left his face VERY close to hers. It was a kind of new feeling really. He was only vaguely familiar with it because Sora felt it a couple of times in similar situations with Kairi.

If he remembered how it worked, his face was probably turning a shade or two of red because being this close to her was making him feel simultaneously nice and awkward. He couldn't really remember much more about how to react to this sort of feeling, so he went with instinct -which was to move just a little so that he'd shifted her arm over his shoulders. Probably didn't do anything for the coloring on his face though.]

Whoa, easy there. I don't know which one of us was in worse shape, but you shouldn't push yourself.

[He laughed a little, not really sure if he was trying to comfort her or himself more.]

Anyway, I don't know how we ended up here... but I think this is King Mickey's castle.

[That closeness. While it had caused that flush in his face, Xion herself was concentrated on holding tightly to him a moment so she wouldn't collapse as her head spun. When the world finally came back into focus, she found her arm had been wrapped around him by Roxas himself... She smiled one of those quiet sort of sheepish smiles of hers, one that brightened a little bit at his laugh. Because no matter what, hearing him laugh like that. It never failed to help her relax just a little.

Things were fine... right? ...Except. His face was awfully red, even as he spoke. So, he was just about as clueless as she was in regards to things... At least except for the location itself, it seemed. King Mickey? Who was he? She wanted to know. She definitely did. But her concern for his well being? That backburnered that thought for just a moment.]

...I see. But, Roxas. Are... Are you okay...? Your... [She trailed off and her free hand came up. Xion waved it over her face yet indicating to his. Obvious worry set in her eyes.]

[He blinked when her hand waved over his face. At the moment, he really wasn't quite sure how to explain a feeling that he didn't completely understand himself. At least as far as he knew it was harmless. But the more he considered the thought, the more it just made more sense it just made to be open with her this time around -well, granted it was more him forgetting to ask her about the things he saw.

Roxas, his laugh subsiding, shook his head as he realized his train of thought was turning into an almost comical mess.]

Oh uh... I'm kind of not sure. It was just a feeling I got for that second when I was really close to your face.

[Ending it like that struck him as almost off-putting and something about it, he didn't quite like, so he figured he'd explain a little further.]

I don't know how to describe it... it was kind of nice, but then a little odd. I think it's normal though. When I got to see some of Sora's memories, he got that way a couple of times around Kairi.

[That left him feeling a little better about things. Not to mention it felt like it helped get the color of his face closer to normal, if it hadn't already returned on its own anyway. While the change in scenery was welcome, he figured that they'd want to get an idea on what was going on as soon as they could. Though it didn't worry him enough to upset him just yet, it dawned on him that so far they'd only run across each other. They should've run into someone out here by now.]

[It was probably a good thing that he continued with his explanation. More than likely, she would have spazzed out otherwise. As if she had done something wrong to make him feel bad... or something. A weak smile of relief befit her awkwardly as he went on to cover the rest of it.

Nice...? Odd...? Around Kairi...? Kairi... The really important person to Sora... and the one she was heavily based off of... Maybe that was why he reacted the way he did...? But... Close to her face... Something seemed to be... Was he seeing a slight bit of a flush to her own? Maybe just a pinch of it. That sense of embarrassment. But about what? She hadn't the slightest idea. She laughed it off weakly herself.]

S-So weird...

[Ahem... He wasn't the only one who knew they should be focusing their attention to other things though. And knowing that he was alright then, well...]

...You said something about King Mickey? Who... Who is he?

[Her hand had long since retracted and she was tilting her head at him curiously now.]

[He made a mental note when things had calmed down to try and get some idea of how to manage all these feelings. It's not like they hadn't always been there for him. It was just that he hadn't really had the freedom to experience them and well, "feel" for them as he'd been doing since he found himself in Xion's company again. It was strange considering how often he previously had to shove them aside to work, but somehow they just helped him feel more connected to the world around him. Maybe these feelings were why the other Nobodies were so desperate to get their hearts back, perhaps they missed that feeling.]

Yeah.

[He took another moment to study their surroundings before her next question caught his attention.]

Oh, he's a friend of Sora's. I'm not sure how much involved he is or was with everything, but he helped fight against the Organization... I guess that kind of puts us on the same side. Sort of.

[Not that he expected her to think that they were in any way, shape or form still affiliated with their previous association -aside from Xion still wearing that robe anyway, but he wasn't exactly sure where traitors and deserters were classified in that lump. He was pretty confident though that the same concept at least zipped through her thoughts as well.]

But this looks like his world when Sora came through. Maybe he can help us figure out what's going on.

[Well, he was better off than her. Or... at least that's what she thought. Feelings... Could she even express them? She wasn't a nobody. No, she was something even more of an abomination-- a mere repli-- No. She couldn't think like that anymore because that would... That would upset him. And... She still couldn't believe before when she had... She couldn't even describe what it was, but she had... The wet streams coming from her...

Those thoughts would have to be put on hold though. Or would be forgotten for the moment anyway. As shock overtook her momentarily. Her eyes shot up to fix on his, pupils shrunk tight from the sunlight catching in them as they widened.]

S-Sora?

[She really shouldn't have been so surprised... right? Because, after all... They both shared some of his memories... but then. Something sounded a little more familiar to his tone than she liked. Like Roxas himself had been there. But... If that... What did...?]

[Derpy as he inherently was, it took him a few moments to realize just what he could have said that she clearly might have found so strange. And then it dawned on him that there really wouldn't have been any way for her to realize just what had happened after he lost her.

While figuring out what was going on was important, it didn't seem like there really was anything to worry about where they were. So it really seemed like as good a time as any to at least fill her in on what happened to him since her passing.

There was something inherently relaxing about the sound that fountain made, so he pushed himself up and had a seat on its edge before patting the spot beside him, a wordless invitation for his friend to do the same.]

That's right, huh? I guess it sounds kind of weird hearing that out of me.

[Whether she took a seat or just made herself comfortable some other way, he chose to wait until she did so. He scratched his head a little as he did his best to try and remember -doing his best to keep the details straight and hopefully not confuse the daylights out of the both of them.]

Well, you saw it, didn't you? Back at the Skyscraper -the whole thing that happened between Riku and I. No surprise I guess, but he had a trick up his sleeve I wasn't expecting and well... he beat me.

[He gave a little pause before continuing to explain what he'd been able to figure out; about the digital Twilight Town he'd been put in, the false memories, how that whole world seemed to come crashing down on him when Axel came with intent to recollect him or exterminate him. Trying to be as open with her as he could this time around, Roxas didn't hold any details back about how upsetting those orders were to him -or rather, how upsetting it was that their friend chose to follow those orders over their friendship. Of course there was also the part about the two of them fighting and outcome of that fight. And then came the part about DiZ.

The Nobody made no attempt in the least to even try concealing the venom in his voice when he talked of the man in red. But he described the conversation he had with DiZ before being left to return to their other.]

I couldn't stand him. All I was to him was just a part of Sora that had to return. I know we're not supposed to exist, but we do.... and to me anyway, that gives us the same right to live as our others.

[He takes that moment to break and let Xion ask any questions she might have had, offering a frustrated sigh at that recollection.]

[She pulled herself up, half sitting, half plopping onto the fountain next to him at his invitation, this time far less hesitant about the idea. But it also helped that this time, she didn't feel like there was a big glass wall between them. This time... the one that had fought those fights with her, who had been through trial after trial, mission after exasperating mission, who had seen the end of her. The one that was one of her best friends, regardless of that. That Roxas was here.

And after giving him a coy nod. Because it honestly did sound... really strange. Neither of them had known much about Sora, after all. Just flickers of his memories. Even then though, Roxas himself hadn't much of an idea about him. Xion had known only a tiny bit more, honestly. But still not enough as he seemed like he did. It made sense though, she kept having to remind herself. Roxas had been through some things since, hadn't he? So, with that in mind, she just relaxed... and listened.

The first comment didn't surprise her. Xion had witnessed only bits and pieces of it, her conscious having faded in and out at the time. But she knew that riku had stopped him in the end. That... had been the end of her memories then though. So, from there, everything was fresh and new to her. But... the more she heard... the tighter her hands seemed to grip on the leather of her coat. Fooling him like that... into thinking he lived in Twilight Town like that. And rewriting his memories. Tampering with his memories. That alone ate away at her. Memories. Memories were something that were so precious to them. It was something that she knew both Roxas and Axel... They had always valued. It made them who they were. For Roxas... It made him not just "Sora's nobody".

And listening to him describe how he fought with Axel on top of that. It... Was this really what she left him to? Was this what Namine had intended on when she said that she would watch over him? It... It was really killing her inside to know that all of this had happened in her absence. All this... He didn't deserve. And what made it worse was that this spiral of indifference didn't stop. Even with Namine's weak means of trying to make his transfer from the living lie to accepting himself as part of Sora. Everything was wrong. It was... so unacceptably wrong.

...But the conversation with DiZ. That was the last nail in the metaphorical coffin. She stood up suddenly, wobbling as she did. Fists clutched and eyes narrowed into a heavy set glare for just a moment's notice as she tried so hard not to just... snap out right there. So many words and thoughts and... All of it was coming at her and she couldn't decide on what to do for a moment. Until, finally, her appalled thoughts took the most root and she turned back to face him. Her features anxious. Her words cutting through with apprehension and pain.]

That's not right! How could that-- She promised that she-- They had no right to do that to you!

[She sounded almost hysterical towards the end. Her voice cracked and shriveled and then she was leaning over and embracing him where he sat because she was all sorts of apologetic and angry and... and... How could this have happened? How could she have let it happen? Roxas, he... He hadn't deserved this!]

[When he'd paused, he wasn't quite sure what he expected from her. They always worried about what the difference was between having actual feelings and just reacting to things by what they somehow knew was a memory of a feeling. At least he had to imagine that was the case for him and Xion. Especially in the past few hours, he'd been "feeling" all kinds of things he couldn't remember having any experience in feeling. But while he'd seen all kinds of expressions and feelings come from her, he just couldn't really recall the seething animosity he could feel from her at the moment in any time they'd shared prior.

Wait, feeling from someone else? That would have to be another one for him to get some answers about later.

But the way she was reacting, he'd almost swear that she'd expected some kind of different outcome. Well, that one could also go into the pile of things to talk about. Now that he thought about it, he knew dismally little about just what she'd been uncovering during their times apart -he doubted it all really was just missions and practice. But now he was getting side-tracked and had a whole different matter to contend to.

He knew this feeling though; anger and sadness at the same time. To him it was a sick irony at the moment that she'd feel something at least very close to what he felt on that fateful afternoon in Twilight Town. So as she embraced him, he took her in his arms and did his best to comfort her.

And then part of that registered to him.

"She promised that she-"

Wait, who?

Maybe it was time for some answers after all.]

It's alright, calm down... but who are you talking about?

She? There weren't any girls working with DiZ, just-

[His eyes went wide for a moment as realization settled in.]

How did I miss it?

Was I -?

[The possibilities that this opened up in his big book of "What if" questions easily made a few chapters on their own.]

Did Namine talk to you too?

[At his string of questions, she remained quiet. At least until his final one settled between them. Talked to her, too... Just one conversation, yes. And a vital one at that. Xion removed her head from resting on his shoulder and strayed her gaze to the ground. Slowly considering how to explain... and then realizing soon after that there wasn't any way to go about it lightly.

No more secrets. No more hiding things... right? It... It wasn't fair to him. His existence had been mocked enough, hadn't it? She might not have known exactly what it was sometimes, but something told her... And she wouldn't have it. She wouldn't be like that to him. She closed her eyes a moment and breathed a shuddered breath.]

She was the one... I met her... before I intended to return to Sora... She... She agreed to... watch over you... but I never thought it would have turned out like that... If I'd known that...

[He listened to her explanation intently, at least as best he could considered how fragmented it ended up coming out. Clearly something that happened to him struck some kind of chord within her -a very unpleasant one at that too. It was somehow strange and then somehow painted a clearer picture of his friend at the same time. She'd accepted the fate she believed she had no choice in with the understanding that someone would care for him. It made him feel a little bad, really -Xion had thought of him to the end in that respect.

Granted, to him at least, it still didn't justify anything. It just made her angle a little more understandable.

However Namine's definition of "watching over him" ended up being little more than throwing him a few cryptic clues.

"You won't disappear! You'll be whole!"

Part of him inwardly scoffed at that. If anything, he felt alienated existing within Sora; a character out of place in a storybook of wondrous memories. He had to wonder for a little, just who was to blame for that. Had it been Namine just paying lip-service to get Sora back? Did she plan to do more, but Riku or DiZ stopped her? It seemed for every question he had answered, at least two new ones appeared in its place.

In either case, that was all done. Nothing could change what happened and right now, one of his best friends needed him to do something before she came apart again.

You're always worrying about me... thanks Xion.

He could practically hear those words being spoken, but for some reason, something inside him said that this wasn't the time to say a thing like that. So for now, he shuffled it into memory, giving her a firm squeeze before offering a smile in return. It seemed more a 'kicked puppy' smile, but he was at least trying to cheer her up.]

It's okay. We can't do anything about what happened back then.

At least we're both here now, right?

[She almost didn't catch that smile. Looking away like she did seemed like a habit she wasn't about ready to break. And saying that it was okay when it obviously wasn't... although he had a point about not being able to do anything. And she knew it. She shook her head slowly as if to will those straying sad thoughts away because she honestly didn't want to trouble him anymore on top of what he had faced. The squeeze had also helped distract her. Something about it--

Xion finally looked up at him. And, well, it might not have felt too awkward to her because she was still wrapping concepts like this around her head, he might be feeling a might bit of it. Because she was pretty darn close to him again. But she was smiling that small, quiet smile of hers. Even if it was a little guilty in appearance. A little sad. A little forced. Kind of complimented his, really. But those jaded smiles seemed to be more than prevalent for a good reason with all that they had been through. Her gaze buckled again as she spoke, but her smile remained.]

...That's true, I guess. And... This time... I'll be sure that you don't... have to face something like that again.

...So then. Can you remember anything after that? [He didn't just vanish like her, right? After all, he was a nobody. Not a replica.]

[There it was again, that odd feeling -like they should be doing something else instead of just looking each other and being this close. Whether his feelings were genuine or based off some memory that just wasn't coming to mind, he really was starting to wish they can with some kind of guide. In either case, at least he didn't react as awkwardly as last time; sure he turned a shade more crimson than his normal coloring was, but right now, he really was worried about how Xion was feeling.

A thought occurred to him as he looked at that smile of hers. Especially if this was some new chance at a life specifically of their own, he'd want to make it a point to bring back that particular smile he'd seen on her. The smile shared when they had ice cream with Axel and just talked about anything -no matter how dumb or trivial. But that would be something to work toward as things went on.

Roxas seemed to be getting better at juggling his thoughts while keeping track of reality as the conversation didn't seem to just snap him out of a daydream like it normally seemed to. He nodded in reply to that first statement, at least for now with holding that he'd do the same for her. For some reason, it just seemed like it'd be a disregard of her feelings if he said that immediately.]

Yeah... well, sort of. That thing I saw in that room opened up and Sora was in it.

[It wasn't venom in his voice -it was far too subdued, longing or envy perhaps as he recalled the memory. He laughed at himself a little.]

And then the lame last thing I said before I just "faded" into him was "I guess my summer vacation is over.".

[It was strange recalling that. At that point, he knew what had to be done, what he needed to do and at least for the most part, why. At the time, he felt such sadness and despair -maybe that's why he didn't just 'become whole' like Namine had told him. He didn't care about power or any thing like that, he wanted a life of his own.

After that brief reminiscence, he shook his head a little, feeling a note more down than he did before.]

After that, it was kind of like watching through his eyes. I got to see what he was doing, how his friends always recognized him and were happy to see him.

[That last sentence came out with his almost trademarked mix of envy and sadness, whether he meant it to or not. Honestly, if Xion really had just faded away after that duel, it was an almost enviable fate. Because continuing to partially exist in a world where few, if any even acknowledge one's existence was a pretty sad state too.]

[She didn't miss that flustering shade of red even while her eyes flickered away. It was impossible to disguise something like that. But she still wasn't sure what to think of it. Although something was fluttering in her for a second when she actually noticed it. She didn't understand it, but ever since he had mentioned it being similar to how Sora had reacted to Kairi on occasion, something about it just hit her. Made her wonder just a little... just what that panic that touched her when she saw that a second time was all about. But she dismissed it just as easily.

Focusing on what he said. That took priority over anything else. Unfortunately, it seemed... all the rest he had to tell was with a lingering sadness. So, he had returned to Sora in the end... Xion almost... She curled her hand into a slight grip on the back of his shirt, frustrated. She knew they had to go back... That was where they had belonged, after all. But it didn't stop his melancholy from eating away at her. The comment about his last words. It... It wasn't so amusing to her, but then she realized he honestly didn't find it so either. Just a breath of tension relief. Otherwise, well... Well, how else could one handle talking about fading like that? Disconnected and miserable like her, she supposed. In that regard... Roxas seemed to be the stronger of the two. Even the bitterness she expected... It wasn't really there like she anticipated. Even if the sadness was more than prevalent. At his pause, she gave him an awkward squeeze. Mimicking the one he had given her not long ago.

She felt almost a little astounded when he noted how he could see through his other's eyes... But then she shouldn't, should she? Again, roxas had always been a nobody while she was a replica. So, their connection to Sora was different. It would only make sense then that he would retain some sort of consciousness. A cruel one though at that. Watching through someone else's eyes... without being able to do anything. It wasn't exactly a fate she would want herself. She could only imagine how he must have felt. She rest her head on his shoulder a moment and sighed... trying to concentrate on what to say.

Apologizes wouldn't change what happened. And they couldn't do anything about it now. He had just said that moments before. So then... What could she do in the now? She was already there for him, but... it just didn't feel sufficient. She wanted to do more than that. But... she found she really wasn't sure if she could. But then did a thought linger and slowly surface. What had Sora...

But she kept it to herself at the moment. Shuttering away any curiosity of that nature. Because right then, she wanted to concentrate on Roxas. And right then, she would. She did have one question to ask though.]

...So... ...When did you end up here? ...How long has it been since you left the Organization? [Since she disappeared, to be more precise, but she knew that was still a raw wound and she was going to do her best to avoid it at the moment. For both their sakes.]

[He found that he appreciated the touch, the slightly awkward squeeze -even just being close to Xion brought him at least a small measurement of comfort. It was nice that he at least wasn't alone and that he had her to open up to. Part of him was telling him that this was the way things should've been from the start and that perhaps their tragedy could've been averted if that were the case. But as he'd so often seemed to bring up in this little chat; what was done was done. Neither of them would ever be able to change that which had transpired, but at least the two of them were together now and they were able to talk like this. As upsetting as the memories were at times, being with her made the recollection less painful.

When her question came up, he paused a little, mulling that one over for a little. Honestly, with the world-traveling business, it was pretty hard to keep track of days once he'd merged with Sora. Still, he figured he'd do the best he could to answer.]

Uhm... well, I know I was in that digital Twilight Town for about seven days. After I merged with Sora, it all kind of blurred together with him and his friends traveling. It was at least four days, I want to say -but it might have been as long as two weeks.

[He paused a moment after that, scratching the back of his neck as if not entirely sure about the numbers he was giving -clearly it was as accurate as he could remember, but clearly he's not entirely sure about how precise he is. And on top of that, the look on his face seems like there's a little more that he wanted to note about things, but he's not quite sure how to bring it up.]

I woke up wherever we did about two days after everything happened.

[He wasn't the only one comforted by the closeness. Ever since the first time he had embraced her. Even as the situation had at first been overwhelmingly frightening and upsetting. There was something in the way he had-- the way he had held onto her, unwilling to let go for just a moment. Something about that just felt right. Like something she should have done herself a long time ago. The thought didn't really occur to her until she had been doing the same to him. And now she honestly wouldn't mind doing it again and again if it would help him get through things like this.

Him not remembering the days... kind of bothered her. If she knew anything about Roxas, he had always, always counted the days. It was a quirk that she had picked up from him, actually. The seashells were a testament to that. Quietly, she wondered if that made him feel lost. Did it bother him that he no longer knew? It did bug Xion, herself. But... Then a lot of this bothered her because it was something they were talking about him going through rather than something they saw through together.

She ducked away as he paused, looking at him curiously. Catching that expression and biting her lip just a bit. The question was written on her face far sooner than did she voice it.]

After what happened?

[His inability to track the days after his merge with Sora was simultaneously upsetting and yet not. Not too long after his consciousness realized it was still at least observing the world, he wondered if perhaps he'd just fade away if he stopped caring about things. There were enough factors in play that simply existing as something that watched through his other's eyes just wasn't the way he wanted to 'live', if you could call it that at all. By the time he'd realized that he simply was stuck that way, he'd realized that he just had no way to effectively tell how much time had passed and that was one of those things he just ended up having to deal with.

Roxas honestly felt at least some relief when Xion posed the question that she did. There was more to the story than just what he'd covered up to his merge and part of him was still wondering if what he tried to do to Sora back at Memory's Skyscraper was even right to begin with... even if the end result gave him the closure needed to just 'let go' of most of his resentment. To his shock, that release apparently gave his other their Final Form, as the boy had called it.

Some part of him would openly, if not somewhat loathingly admit that it was a pretty cool way for the combined power from Xion and him to be used.]

After he did everything he was supposed to.

[He started his explanation with a sigh. It wasn't from the annoyance of talking about it, it was more his ongoing annoyance that everything went according to DiZ's plan for the most part.]

After Sora woke up, he did just what they expected him to do. With a little prodding from King Mickey, he went right after the Organization.

[Though he tried not to drag on with things, he retold the story of their other's struggle against their former compatriots and how the remaining members of the Organization were cut down one at a time. He talked of his shock to find that Axel had survived their duel and how he tried to have Sora consumed by a mob of heartless to bring him back -only to change his mind at the last moment and sacrifice himself so Sora would live.

He let it go quiet for a moment there, as if offering some silence out of respect for their mutual friend. When he picked up again, his tone was a note sadder, as if retelling that opened a wound that hadn't quite started to heal. He told of Sora's arrival in the World That Never Was and how through a means even he couldn't understand, he managed to manifest physically in top form and summon a pair of Samurai Nobodies to hold Donald and Goofy at bay while he snatched Sora off to a duel.]

I still don't know how I did it... but after I lost, I wasn't mad at him.

I don't know why, but I think I was relieved.

[As Roxas retold his plight from Sora's eyes, Xion sat quietly, just listening... Intently at that. It wouldn't have mattered if he would have taken hours to explain, really. There was no "dragging on" when it came to listening to him. What he had to say... had always, always been important to her. And she had almost infinite patience with him... How could she not? He was her best friend. Him and Axel. The story he had to tell though... was honestly a sad tale.

Even with how the Organization had been constructed... to create Kingdom Hearts using the hearts of innocents. She... Honestly, not all of those in the Organization... She didn't begrudge all of them. Some of them... had really never done any wrong to her. So... listening to how the Organization was completely wiped out... It bothered her a little. Having her power used for that purpose... It was Kingdom Hearts that had to be stopped. But then... It wasn't like Organization XIII would just allow someone to up and destroy it. Certainly not without a fight. She knew of its importance, remembered how some of the members had spoken desperately of retrieving a heart.

As the story progressed and Roxas reached the part about Axel's choice... Xion stared at him in shock, her gaze softening weakly shortly afterward. That... That was really the choice he had made? To disappear, too? It wasn't lost to her the reasons why-- but... That only made her feel more empty. And while Roxas was quiet, Xion had blinked rapidly while her breaths came out shallow and shuddered. She didn't reach for Roxas' comfort then... because it felt undeserved. She felt like... she should have found a way to prevent it-- which was silly, honestly. It wasn't like she knew that something like that would have happened. But.. Xion being Xion, well...

Her focus only barely managed to snap back to his story as he recounted his fight with Sora... and how he had lost, but yet... For some reason, he had found a resolve to it. It seemed strange to her, but then... She was just hearing a story. She didn't really know the half of it... and she never really would know more than that. Simply because she never lived it. But-- at the same time... Maybe. Just maybe...]

...It almost sounds like. He could have understood you. Who you were... Of course, everyone could say that it's because you're his nobody, but... It sounds like it goes beyond that.

...He really worried about his friends. Like you always... so... maybe that's why...

[For just a little bit, Roxas had allowed himself to lose himself in contemplation as he mulled over the hows, whys and whatnot of that fateful encounter. Thinking back, once he'd found Sora, he'd wondered what he would have done. In his last days with the Organization, Xemnas made no secret of his and Xion's connection to the body -though he never specifically explained what that was. If it hadn't been for what he'd learned in the last 'day' or two in the Digital Twilight Town, it's doubtful he'd ever have found the proper links to put as many of the pieces together as he did. And yet when he did -he chose to fight.

Now part of him had been wondering what would have happened if he'd won. Doubtful that Donald, Goofy, Mickey, Ansem, Kairi and Riku would have stood with him -it would have been him versus the remaining members of the Organization. That of course, also assumed that Sora's friends didn't just decide to eliminate him. And looking at how things turned out, that victory however long or not long ago, required those bonds of friendship that their other had.

Thankfully, it was a matter he didn't dwell upon too long before Xion offered her little bit of insight to some of the questions that still lingered within him from that time. When he heard her voice, his attention snapped to her, giving a contemplative look as she offered her opinion of the matter.]

Huh... I guess that sounds about right. As much as I try to tell everyone that I'm me; that I'm different from him. We at least have that much in common.

[He gave a momentary pause, their conversation providing a new question for him to mull over, one that he chose to openly share.]

If I saw some of his memories... I wonder if he saw any of yours or mine.

[They might have shared some things. But in the end, Roxas would always be Roxas to her. Her best friend. Someone, even, that she was willing to give up her existence for. That wouldn't change, no matter how he was related to Sora... and she knew enough that he felt the same about her.

At his last comment though... Xion sat in silence, considering it with careful, flowing thoughts. It was possible... maybe. Maybe not as intensely as they had witnessed his memories, but... Then again...]

...It's hard for me to say. I don't remember anything after I...

[She trailed off and gestured lightly with her hand as if that would finish her thought. Then letting silence veil them a little longer. If Sora had, she wondered if that would have changed anything. And if it had, would it have been for better or worse? There always seemed to be complications. Always. Trial after trial. Nothing ever was simple. She found herself tugging away at her hood, just thinking about everything.

All the trials and tribulations. Just hearing about them wore on her and she hadn't even been there to see it. At least not consciously. She was part of Sora then, of course. But... while Roxas apparently could keep his sense of self composed, hers had shattered the moment she had returned. Perhaps it was partly due to the resolve that she had carried at the time. She had steeled herself, accepted it. While Roxas had fought it. Did part of him feel betrayed for her just shutting down like that now that he knew they had co-existed in Sora together for a time? She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, still not entirely believing this to be real. Her hand came to touch his arm as her mouth formed a thin, unreadable line. Although her conflict was more than apparent in her eyes as always.

All the memories she had of Sora back then... All the trouble they had caused, really.]

...Knowing how we were with having his memories though, it might be better if he never did.

[It was odd, almost like instinct. Whether by partially passed memory or if by the quietly voiced feelings that he possessed himself, Roxas' hand immediately sought Xion's when her touch registered to him. However, his attention had been snatched off again as he'd noticed that particular look in her eyes. Thinking about it, he remembered that she'd almost always had that troubled look to her -always worried about one thing or another.

Well, there were some thoughts he'd be voicing to her about that later. For the immediate moment, he'd been listening as she offered her thoughts on his question. Though as much as he did wonder about that, he was fairly sure that Sora hadn't seen the faintest glimpse of what either of his Nobodies had been through. If he had, there was a particular comment the boy had once said that he probably wouldn't have if he'd been aware.]

He probably didn't... thinking about it. That honestly makes me feel at least a little glad.

[He paused a moment, a weak grin forming on his face as he watched for the likely quizzical or at least curious look she was expected to reply with. Of course, as soon as he saw any hint of that, he'd elaborate a little more.]

I mean think about it; it means that those memories belong to each of us. It just means we've got the same right to live he does.

[The more analytical part of his mind was also pointing out that Xion having memories that neither he, nor Sora had further reinforced that despite what she'd started out as, she was every bit as much of a person or at least a Nobody as any other. At least from his stand point because she had genuine, unique memories that only she possessed. But then, maybe he was thinking on that one too hard.]

[The way his hand had suddenly reached to hold hers was comforting and her eyes had softened just a little at the feeling. But in the split second it registered, it was forgotten because the words he shared next were curious-- and she tilted her head at the first comment just as he had anticipated. When he continued though, well...

'Belong to each of us'... A right to... 'A right to live'...

She stared at Roxas a long moment, unsure of what to say. Her thoughts were swirling out of control. Like those words had freed all these sudden possibilities and they were just spiraling out and around and throughout until she suddenly shut her eyes tight, concentrating. Slowing the flow to a crawl. Trying to remember the other side of the coin. But... But even so, she had to ask. Had to wish for that reassurance.]

Do... Do you really think so...?

[Sounding so unsure. So... lost and suddenly... Suddenly afraid. Almost like what they were doing was wrong. Forbidden. To want that freedom, that right. What about Sora? What was happening to him now that they were where they were? Was he asleep again? Or was this where those who weren't supposed to exist in the first place... Was this where they faded off to?

The uncertainty etched in her face, made her grip his arm a little tighter. This was real. She could feel it. His hand. His arm. Her shaking. It was... too real for words, even. Almost. She was almost expecting herself to wake up-- but part of her knew she wasn't going to. That Roxas was there. That she was there. And that, deep down.... she wouldn't have it any other way.]

[Being stared at in that way didn't escape his attention and for a little bit, he wondered if what he'd said was really all that strange. He wasn't trying to be amazing or poetic or anything like that -he'd just shared one of his strongest beliefs that he'd formed.

Unique things like a person's memories, experiences and the memories they leave preserved with others define an individual's right to live. To possess even a single unique memory gave them reason enough to exist, regardless of who said they should be allowed to or not. And it was the feelings produced by that belief that he figured resulted in him persisting after Sora absorbed him.

And so he watched her, listening for anything she might say and trying to get some idea of what thoughts must be running through her head. Then she finally spoke up.]

Of course! Maybe we weren't supposed to exist in the first place. But I don't think anyone can deny that we do. And I think even if we had no purpose or anything like that, there's a lot of reasons why we shouldn't just have to fade away.

[Loathe as he might be to admit it, he probably sounded a lot like Sora with a statement like that. But really, he didn't care. His attention had been on Xion as he'd talked, feeling her reactions; the shaking and then that look of worry in her eyes.

It was strange that not too long ago, he would have been fine existing again without any memory that she'd ever been a part of his life. And yet now, knowing what they'd been through, he felt a bond with her that he honestly wanted to say was stronger than his to their Other. That felt strange to consider -Axel was his best friend and while that was the case, something inside him said that his connection to his friend was a different kind of attachment. Admittedly, these feelings were really confusing things -even if he thought they were memories.]

But yeah... that's why I think it's okay for us both to be around again. It's why I think we should be able to find a way to have hearts of our own and then live -kind of normal lives, I guess.

[He laughs a little.]

That must sound a little silly, huh? I got so wrapped up in us just being here like this, I kind of didn't think things much further along. But what I'm getting at is that we're here together, so it'll be alright. I'm sure of it.

[While it might have seemed almost simple for him to accept, a belief that he valued, to Xion who had always found herself weighed through the worth of what she did for the Organization. For the worth of being able to be useful-- the idea that their memories alone amounted to their right to exist. It was... really different. It was something... something she really did want to believe as earnestly as he did. Bur something that was almost secretly appealing. Something that... she wasn't lost to by any measure.

He carried the appeal of it further with his words, only shaking it at the mention of the lacking purpose. They had one though, didn't they? They... They wouldn't be there otherwise, would they? To her, still existing meant that she had left something undone. Or maybe she just simply needed that comfort. That reason. A sense of security. But... part of her whispered deep down-- didn't she already have that? Wasn't he--

A heart...

Normal lives...

'...it'll be alright. I'm sure of it.'

The Sora vibe of his statements. That didn't even register to her-- because it was Roxas she was facing then. It was always Roxas. Xion would always see him first before Sora. Not like the others who saw it the other way around. But what did hit her was... that no matter how simple it sounded, there was one thing still clawing at the back of her mind. One thing she knew they had to touch base on-- something that had until then been avoided mainly due to the sudden heartless attack and then further deterred by his explanation of events since her fading. But now-- she knew she had to say something.]

...Even given this chance though. Roxas... If I still am what I am, I might... I might do that again. I don't have any control over it. I shouldn't even... [She let go of his arm in emphasis, too afraid for him to allow her reluctance to get the best of her. Fearful that she was affecting him by that touch alone. Sapping his strength as she had before.]

What if... we run out of time?

[She made a point. Maybe he was just in denial -perhaps they both were, but he refused to accept that the entirety of what transpired atop the clock tower in Twilight Town that day was her choice. Perhaps she did chose to return to Sora -that such a thing would be best. But that striking him down and taking his memories was the way to do it? That just wasn't the friend he'd gotten to know over the majority of his 'life'.

In either case, that was something he wasn't prepared to answer. He wanted to brush it off -to say that since they were standing there and that he had memories of Sora setting Kingdom Hearts free and defeating Xemnas meant that there was no reason to think that this was anything but a second chance for them. But there was no telling how Sora was here or if anything else had been going on.

For a moment though, he saw some part of her hoping and wanting to share the dream he was chasing. And he wasn't about to just let that part sink back into despair without a fight.]

For starters, we're not sure of anything right now.

[He hesitated a moment and instincts took over where thinking failed him. Roxas felt his hand react of its own volition, immediately reaching out and taking hers again -as if in some hope that such an act would steady the situation. And somewhere in that split second, he felt something -not a memory of an emotion, but something stronger. It resonated with him and before he knew it, his mouth was running with his thoughts before he could even decide how things should be said.]

We'll worry about it then. If it happens again, then we'll just find another way... but we're not even sure if it will happen again. We're not even sure how we're here.

So until we get some answers, we'll just play it by ear.

Besides... none of us were really straight with each other back then.

[He offers a smile.]

This time, I'm not hiding anything and that's a start to making things different this time around.

Seriously? I don't have an embarassed icon for this guy?

|D; Need one? Fff....

Why yes, actually.

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See what you've got me doing now?

Ffff.... It's Roxas. He does these things

Stupid subject field...

Buh? XD;

Just the way it holds the old subject over if you don't actually put something there.

Ah~~ I see

Re: Ah~~ I see

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/FINALLY It was a lot to think over, so I kind of gave this space, but I think I got it now

Yay! New post because I'm back!

I'm pretty impressed how much this has lived. XD;

Well it is a pretty awesome thread

It's rockin' so hard~ And I almost killed it XD;

As long as there's interest, I'll keep tagging

I'm usually the same way 8D; Unless my muse dies

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