kingdomdressing | (no subject)

That sounds creepy. But then again, this is you we're talking about, so I'm not surprised.

Sora was okay. He was always a bit naive, but he had a good heart.

But, my Sora was ... [shakes his head.]

Never mind. It doesn't matter.

Don't tell me that your Sora's like you...

No ... you wouldn't even understand. It's no use trying to explain something so complex.

You loved him, didn't you?

[all he ever wanted was to protect his Sora from the world. he gets choked up thinking about him again and again and again until he finally just falls away from the other blond, stepping back to press a palm over his own face.]

It's disgusting ...

[he wants to do something...oh, like take back what he said? but he just stands there, staring]

No it isn't...

[that hand trails up and threads through his bangs, tugging. he eventually just flops onto his ass and hides his face behind a knee.]

He was my brother.

[he's starting to think that that fact alone might answer a lot of questions. he's also kicking himself for being too damn persistent. in the way, again, always. he crosses his arms loosely around his chest as he tries to come up with the perfect thing to say...trying to put himself in the other's shoes but failing hard. roxas loved sora, right..?]

It isn't fair.

I did everything I could to keep him to myself, to keep him from all those disgusting assholes that'd keep pecking at his open wounds, and they wouldn't leave. They teased him for losing a fight against Riku. They teased him because Kairi left him ...

[tugs at his hair more.]

I hate them all.

.. stop that.

[looks up, not as cheerful and carefree about his actions as he previously was.]

... what.

You're being so down on yourself, you know that? I'm pretty sure that Sora would hate to see you like this.

He doesn't .. he hasn't seen me for years. He hasn't wanted to. I ruined his life thinking I'd fixed it, then I fucked everything up by getting careless with every new life I took.

At the same time it's for the better I guess, but ...

Doesn't wanna see you, huh. ~~That doesn't sound...~~

Sora aside, do you like being what you are?

... [he's never really thought about it. his whole life had always revolved around Sora. why he ate, why he worked, why he bathed, why he slept. Sora was always there to hold his hand, so hearing about contemplating how he felt about himself ...]

... I don't know.

Then maybe that's why you're here. To get to know yourself.

I don't know .. I don't care. I just want to see him.

Right. Not happening anytime soon.

Shut the fuck up. The last person I need my hopes shot down by is myself.

That's it though, isn't it? You're the one making your life hell.

Because I don't know anything less. Through all this hero-playing throat-slitting bullshit I've developed an addiction I can't bite and that's only on top of my sick obsession with my brother.

We're weaker than we thought.

Mentally, yes. Physically ...

[his eyes snap down to his shins.]

Well, I'll leave that to the decision of all the girls and boys I've killed.

Speak for yourself. Outside of the Struggle, I'm not too great with a weapon. Here...[extends a hand]...unless you really do like it on the ground.

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time to go for the night. i'll be here tomorrow~

g'night~!

or not, wtf @ internet timer. i'm gonna PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT.

GO GO GOOO!

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