kingdomdressing | i dreamed i was dying as i so often do

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axel

i dreamed i was dying as i so often do

[Axel's still in his room, on his bed. His coat and shirt were on the floor, the room was starting to feel stuffy and uncomfortable. He'd been up a few times, obvious enough by the cans of soda on the bedside table next to him that hadn't been there when Roxas had dragged him back here, half-awake and half-alive. The 'power outage' had thrown him a little, he'd felt a little vulnerable, but he knew right away when it was back. That familiar warmth was at his fingertips, he could light a flame in his hand at will again. He had the energy to do it, too, now that he'd gotten some rest.

He was sitting up, the scars on his arms and chest earlier had nearly disappeared now with his second or third X-Potion, but it wasn't really all that easy to tell. His knees were drawn up close to his chest and an arm wrapped around them. The other was resting across his knees, and he was snapping his fingers.

snap. A small flame flickered to life at his fingertips, burned the miniscule amount of energy he was willing to put towards it, and died out within a few seconds. snap. The same thing happened again.

He watched it with grim fascination each time.]

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He lost him, didn't he? [sighs and sits back on his bed, looking at the floor]

You... You should tell him how you feel.

[Looks away.]

How I feel? I don't have a heart, if you haven't noticed.

That didn't stop me. [looks up]

There's obviously something there. Why the Hell do you keep coming back to me? Why did you even make the effort to repair things between us?

[Getting touchy.]

I do not come back to you. And it simply would have been rude not to do anything.

...

Mm, I may not have been able to read between the lines just a moment ago with your bizarre psychic powers or whatever but the fact that you're getting defensive about that? Speaks volumes to me, Saix.

[Huffs haughtily, crossing his arms.]

Great. But you're not the only Axel I've some attachment for -- there's also the one who's arm I ripped off.

That's all fine and dandy for he and I, I'm sure. But what about yours? Marluxia brought him back for you, and you're just going to tiptoe your way around the issue like some shy, scared, hormonal teenager?

[Eyebrow twitch; ~~hit home~~. He looks at you with a glare of doom again. Light blush? Possibly.]

And just what kind of attachment do you think I have to the stupid one? We grew up together, you dipshit, that's all.

I seem to remember a lingering touch on the cheek... Not to mention the level of 'freak-out' you resorted to at the prospect of him killing himself, which I, too, have experienced firsthand.

[a shrug, his eyes flicking to the floor again]

Your level of commitment to the guy seems like a lot more than just friendship. [He knows what it's like to hide that secret, and would like to think he's getting better at recognizing the signs]

[--!! Oh. That. Erm. Ignoring that at the moment.]

...

Back in the day, Axel would never have tried to kill himself. Never. He's the one responsible for the fact that there's scar on my wrist and not an open wound. He told me to live and tried to save me.

[Looks away.]

I owe him my life, so of course it's more than friendship. Yet I doubt it's what you're thinking; It's beyond what you could comprehend.

Whatever it is. You should do something about it.

I'd figured Axel being brought back would have done you some good, but I've got a bruised Roxas and a few healing wounds of my own to prove otherwise.

Hn. I have no intention of doing anything if it's already too late.

Why would it be too late?

The minute the kid stepped in the doorway it was too late. That's where all the conflict lies.

And you've lost me again.

You mean... Roxas?

Yes, the kid. The brat. He's ultimately responsible for everything, including your death.

Yeah, yeah, spare me the speech. I know. Your resent is hard to miss.

That's a tough bond to break, can't argue with that. But if you and your Axel have the friendship you've made me believe you do...

We had, we don't really anymore. But the stupid one is oblivious as always.

Yeah, he would be. [rubs nervously at the back of his neck, or starts to, but winces as he tries to even move his hand. Right, that.]

But what are you going to do? Whatever you're doing now is definitely not working. Something has to change, got it? This place is a madhouse, and you're one of the major contributors to that.

[Saïx notices, but says nothing. He looks grim.]

I restate myself: I have no intention of doing anything if it's already too late. Axel can do what he wants, I don't care. It's a miracle he hasn't noticed already that I am mad and he'll likely kill himself when he does.

[Pauses.]

Then I'll just go nuts and die and there will be nothing for you to worry about. Sounds peachy, doesn't it? [Smiles.]

No! No it doesn't! You can't just--... [had stood up, but he pauses and sits back down, shaking his head.]

... You were right. None of my business.

What's this? The valiant hero is defeated? [Tilts his head.]

Your turn to shut up. [The floor, it is his favorite thing to look at in this room, apparently.]

I'm not gonna waste any more of my time on someone with such a defeatist attitude.

[Well, he's going to be distracted because Saïx is stepping over the precious floor to come closer.]

Oh, that's lovely if you think this has been a waste of time. However...

[He leans down, a hand on each shoulder and whispering warmly into Axel's ear.]

...

...

...

[something occurs to him, and he arches a brow.]

Easily? Need I remind you that you tried to kill my best friend and then myself? I doubt it would be taken as a judge of character if I quit on you now.

... Why are you doing this?

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