kingdomdressing | i dreamed i was dying as i so often do

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axel

i dreamed i was dying as i so often do

[Axel's still in his room, on his bed. His coat and shirt were on the floor, the room was starting to feel stuffy and uncomfortable. He'd been up a few times, obvious enough by the cans of soda on the bedside table next to him that hadn't been there when Roxas had dragged him back here, half-awake and half-alive. The 'power outage' had thrown him a little, he'd felt a little vulnerable, but he knew right away when it was back. That familiar warmth was at his fingertips, he could light a flame in his hand at will again. He had the energy to do it, too, now that he'd gotten some rest.

He was sitting up, the scars on his arms and chest earlier had nearly disappeared now with his second or third X-Potion, but it wasn't really all that easy to tell. His knees were drawn up close to his chest and an arm wrapped around them. The other was resting across his knees, and he was snapping his fingers.

snap. A small flame flickered to life at his fingertips, burned the miniscule amount of energy he was willing to put towards it, and died out within a few seconds. snap. The same thing happened again.

He watched it with grim fascination each time.]

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I seem to remember a lingering touch on the cheek... Not to mention the level of 'freak-out' you resorted to at the prospect of him killing himself, which I, too, have experienced firsthand.

[a shrug, his eyes flicking to the floor again]

Your level of commitment to the guy seems like a lot more than just friendship. [He knows what it's like to hide that secret, and would like to think he's getting better at recognizing the signs]

[--!! Oh. That. Erm. Ignoring that at the moment.]

...

Back in the day, Axel would never have tried to kill himself. Never. He's the one responsible for the fact that there's scar on my wrist and not an open wound. He told me to live and tried to save me.

[Looks away.]

I owe him my life, so of course it's more than friendship. Yet I doubt it's what you're thinking; It's beyond what you could comprehend.

Whatever it is. You should do something about it.

I'd figured Axel being brought back would have done you some good, but I've got a bruised Roxas and a few healing wounds of my own to prove otherwise.

Hn. I have no intention of doing anything if it's already too late.

Why would it be too late?

The minute the kid stepped in the doorway it was too late. That's where all the conflict lies.

And you've lost me again.

You mean... Roxas?

Yes, the kid. The brat. He's ultimately responsible for everything, including your death.

Yeah, yeah, spare me the speech. I know. Your resent is hard to miss.

That's a tough bond to break, can't argue with that. But if you and your Axel have the friendship you've made me believe you do...

We had, we don't really anymore. But the stupid one is oblivious as always.

Yeah, he would be. [rubs nervously at the back of his neck, or starts to, but winces as he tries to even move his hand. Right, that.]

But what are you going to do? Whatever you're doing now is definitely not working. Something has to change, got it? This place is a madhouse, and you're one of the major contributors to that.

[Saïx notices, but says nothing. He looks grim.]

I restate myself: I have no intention of doing anything if it's already too late. Axel can do what he wants, I don't care. It's a miracle he hasn't noticed already that I am mad and he'll likely kill himself when he does.

[Pauses.]

Then I'll just go nuts and die and there will be nothing for you to worry about. Sounds peachy, doesn't it? [Smiles.]

No! No it doesn't! You can't just--... [had stood up, but he pauses and sits back down, shaking his head.]

... You were right. None of my business.

What's this? The valiant hero is defeated? [Tilts his head.]

Your turn to shut up. [The floor, it is his favorite thing to look at in this room, apparently.]

I'm not gonna waste any more of my time on someone with such a defeatist attitude.

[Well, he's going to be distracted because Saïx is stepping over the precious floor to come closer.]

Oh, that's lovely if you think this has been a waste of time. However...

[He leans down, a hand on each shoulder and whispering warmly into Axel's ear.]

...

...

...

[something occurs to him, and he arches a brow.]

Easily? Need I remind you that you tried to kill my best friend and then myself? I doubt it would be taken as a judge of character if I quit on you now.

... Why are you doing this?

[Pulls back slightly so Axel can see his borderline insane smirk. The look is familiar~]

The fun's not over yet, this demon still wants Roxas -- any Roxas -- dead. Probably you too when it's not confused. Shouldn't the hero do something about it since I can't?

You want me to save you from your own personal demons? [Axel just watches Saix quietly for a moment, then shakes his head, pushing a hand from his shoulder with his own uninjured hand.]

... Even if it's for Roxas' good more than either of us, that's... More involved with you than you want me to be getting, trust me.

Not even going to finish the job and kill me?

I don't think I could.

You kind of very effectively kicked my ass last time.

Besides, I promised Roxas I was done picking fights. I'm keeping that one too, for now.

[excuses, excuses, Axel. What's the real reason?]

[Has a feeling Axel is keeping something from him, and since the redhead got touchy with him, it's deemed fine for him to return the kind favor. Erp. That means there's a Saïx who's crawled forward onto your lap and straddled it. Legs had been aching, you see, and this was simply a convenient way to alleviate them. Saïx keeps his hold on Axel in case the other attempts to push him off.]

That all that's holding you back?

[Lazily resting his head on a shoulder; His look has returned to normal.]

[Asdkjfh what? N-no. Nooohoho, no. Axel froze upon realizing what Saix was doing but it was too late to stop him, and the other would not be moved.]

Sa-Saix... [compose yourself, Axel.]

... Well isn't that enough?

A promise can be easily broken and you actually nearly succeeded in killing me too. If you hadn't stopped at the last minute...

[Fiddling boredly with a lock of spiky red hair.]

B-but, you... I would have died, too. That would have sort of defeated the purpose...

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*totally didn't fall asleep right next to the keyboard, what are you talking about*

Oh dear.

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totally didn't fall asleep right next to the keyboard, what are you talking about