kingdomdressing | (no subject)

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luxord

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WHO IS THE CRACKA ASS MOFO WHO KEY'D MAH RIDE?

[ooc: Christ, I don't even KNOW. Time to dust off the unused RP account lol :<]

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.. Not another one!

WHUUUUUAT?

What to you.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some unfinished business to attend to. I'm quite enraged at my recent misfortune, as you can tell.

.. [ Clap, clap. He's semi-sane? ]

What happened?

BITCH, I JUZT BEEN KEY'D. I waz juzt crusin' in mah foozin', then I went "Snapz I want some muthafuckin ice cream." So I go in, righ'? Get mah shit get out. Come out, and GOOD GOD, MAH DOOR LOOKED LIKE IT GOT IN A KNIFE FIGHT.

Now I assume the cutomary paint job is completely ruined, and I expect any repairs to it will be fairly hefty. I demand compensation either through munny or physical injury.

...AND TA TOP IT ALL OFF, CRACKA BEHIND THE COUNTA FORGOT MY MUTHAFUCKIN SPRINKLES.

Uhm, okay.

Well, you know, maybe you can find another one around here?

YOU DENSE OR SUMTHIN? IT'S MAH RIDE. GUTTIN' MAH BABY BE'D LIKE RIPPIN MAH SOUL. YAH HURR?

Also, I've noticed that there's a distinct lack of Ben & Jerry's in the vicinity. Neither problem can be immediately resolved, unfortunately.

...

Your ride?

Mah tricked-out ship, yo. Ah've been savin' up juzt ta have spinnin' rims spin da other way. BUT I JUZT BEEN KEY'D, SON. SOME GHETTO SHIFTY SON OF A BITCH KEY'D MAH MUTHAFUCKIN RIDE.

*ahem*

Whoever destroyed my vehicle will pay dearly for their travesty.

...

Oh.

Are you feeling alright, Luxord?

Nah nah, tha name's Homie X Luxory. A COURSE I AIN'T ALRIGH', I CAN'T CRANK MAH TUNES IN SOME RAGGEDY-ASS TOYOTA.

[Deer-in-headlights look. That is all.]

...How many?

How many keys!?

TWO, MUTHAFUCKA. TWO.

TWO!?!

No! It must've been him!

But we're toooooo late!

...oh, I beg your pardon, but whom and why?

....

I'd have a really bad feeling about this if that were possible. Also, time to take another shot.

Pass the bottle, if you please. I'm afraid my day's been absolutely dreadful I would like to either quench my rage with alcohol or violence, or possibly a combination of the two.

...As long as it ain't any o' dat cheap shit dat don't get the buzz on.

....sure. Have some. [gives 8|]

This might be a shot in the dark, but you wouldn't happen to know Secks, would you?

[Takes huge swig]

Oh shizz, he's hurr? Secks is the fizzle to mah nizzle, mah brotha witoutta mutha.

...In other words, he and I are comrades. [...TAKES BIGGER SWIG]

That's what I thought.

So you're one of those... [SIGH] ...semes.

Fo' shizzle. Homie X Luxory in da house, ya dig?

...yeah.

There aren't thirteen of you, are there?

This one seems half-sane, but that almost makes it worse as a whole...

*takes a shot as well*

Ah, Luxory. What a pleasant surprise. I am most dreadfully sorry about your gummi ship escalade. Perhaps we can get the Toons to repaint it?

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