kingdomdressing | (no subject)

Yeah, tell me about it!

[whump. he falls back onto the couch, huffing.]

[eyes him.]

Did you have someone?

[there's a slight pause, his back straightening.]

Yeah. Long time ago. We let go of each other. I figured not having someone that could love you back was pretty scarring.

'sides, it was another Sora. Can you imagine the looks he'd get when he went back home? Narcissist that found a clone. It was better this way...

[he's rambled a bit, and got quieter as he went on.]

[can't help but offer him a bitter smile.]

We're in the same boat, kid. I was with another Roxas. He was older than me, hella cuter, too. God ...

[winces, looking down at his boot.] We made up pet names for each other so we could distinguish ourselves from the crowd when calling someone's name.

He was Cupcake and I was Patches.

[glances over at him and swallows, rubbing the back of his hand to his eyepatch.]

Bet he was. Mine was exactly like me. 'cept he was the hero and I was the bad guy, if you wanna get technical.

[he sits up, smiling lightly.]

Cupcake and Patches. Cute.

I guess I was the bad guy and he was ... your average Joe. Just a college guy who apparently had a kid.

I was a murderer. I don't know if I still am.

[takes a deep breath.]

I miss him so much. Ever since I came from Hell it's easier to look in the mirror, but not by much. It's even worse to be surrounded by them.

Bet you feel the same, heh ...

Sounds nice, though.

Ooh, murder.

[his eyes are closed, and he sighs. his voice is actively bitter.]

... can't feel emotions, so I can't really feel? But... it's like there's a bigger emptiness, I guess.

Erk. I can't even look at another Sora.

Have I ever told you about why I started killing?

Tell me~.

I'm always up for some good storytime.

Oooonce upon a time there were two boys, brothers-- Sora and Roxas, that Roxas being me.

See, my life depended on Sora. I wouldn't eat without him at the table, I wouldn't join a game unless he did, I wouldn't sleep until he crawled into bed with me, and this basically carried on for years. I always loved my brother so much, he was the center of my universe.

Then, middle school. He started exploring his feelings and I started realizing I didn't like that. He got a girlfriend and I stopped playing with him. I started doing everything by myself and I wanted nothing to do with her. She knew I hated her.

Well, when she broke up with him, he cried. He was too serious about that relationship for such a young kid and it hurt him, so I broke her arm. I told her that if she told, I'd kill her kitten. She never did tell. I was surprised.

After that, Sora started to cling to me. He called me his hero and he played with me more. I loved it. I loved that we'd lay together on the grass, I loved that he'd ask me to kiss him on the lips because he missed his girlfriend, but to him it was all so innocent; never more than play.

But it was deep for me, so deep. I sailed when he paid more attention to me, and it got better and better until he discovered Kairi. She ... well. She had an attractive personality. She was very charismatic and we had intelligent conversations sometimes.

I stopped talking to Sora as much, and he started going out more. I didn't really mind, I was used to being on my own by then.

Oh, but the fun never ends. Sora's tutor, Riku, started hanging out with him. The jock, the massive heart throb, the one with intentions strictly pointing to himself for his own benefits, and Sora was such an easy target to manipulate. They seemed like friends, but he was brainwashing him slowly. Subtle hints that the way he hangs out with me was a little weird, subtle hints that sharing a bed with me was a little too close for comfort.

He broke us apart. He stole Sora from me just so in the end ... he could get closer to Kairi.

I knew it because of the way he eyed her. When he pulled her from a crowd to 'speak' with her. The way she blushed and shook her head, turned him down every time.

And then he started fighting with Sora, proving how weak and irresponsible he was. How much of an unrealistic dreamer he came to be in the end, and Riku ripped and tore at him. Sora found him to be so correct, so right, he tried everything to redeem himself to Riku but despite it all Riku wouldn't have it. He convinced Kairi that Sora was just a little boy, still. She needed a man, and by now we were halfway through freshman year in high school.

So ... she broke up with Sora and dated Riku. I couldn't forgive her, I wouldn't. Riku started rumors about Sora and soon the whole freshman class, or the ones that fed into it, were trashing him and tearing him down.

That's when I happened into dad's knife drawer.

[... he's bent over a little, opposite hands covering his elbows and eyes staring at the floor. he's been listening intently, and his voice is quiet.]

That's horrible. I would've done it too, to protect Sora. Or Roxas.

[he's pursing his lips slightly, letting his head fall a little.]

Kinda reminds me of what happened at home, actually...

So you killed them all?

I was so thorough. First I killed Kairi, then I burned down Riku's house, and killed him. I made sure some of them begged for mercy before I could kill 'em.

Axel I killed- He was just a bothersome bit that made Sora jealous. I killed Namine because she drew a picture of Riku kissing Kairi when Sora was with her. I killed everyone who laughed, everyone who insulted, everyone who threw a dirty glare.

Sora cried and cried on me, he told me it was his fault all those people were dying, and I'd just rub his back and tell him God was doing him a favor by getting rid of the bad people.

He'd tell me they weren't bad.

All in all he found out, told on me, I got sent to jail. They tried to plead me insane but I wouldn't have it. I told them why I did it and I calmly claimed my stake in my jail cell.

Five years of no outside contact made me a hard to love person. When I turned eighteen, they gave me a month left before I visited the electric chair.

Then, with five days over my head, I appeared here.

Sounds like a perfect plan.

[it's said in an offhand matter, after he draws some circles and crosses in the air like he's making a battle diagram.]

Just... it's hard to do things for a person.

Couldn't they say it was a crime of--well, I guess loving a brother is bad, so uh... well, it doesn't really matter now, does it?

[and he frowns, wiggling a little in his seat.]

I think you deserve some happiness, at least here, where everyone's fucking with everyone else.

I met Cupcake here and ... I told him I'd stop killing for him. I told him I'd keep my hands to myself and I'd love him, because he promised to help me. No matter what, even when he was afraid, he was still there, and ...

I needed that so bad.

When he disappeared I asked a Riku to kill me. I just ... didn't want to be around. You know the rest.

So here I am now.

[there's a quiet sigh and he lays on his stomach, clutching a pillow.]

So you need someone again.

Question is if you'll take someone. The heart's a nasty little thing sometimes. Really choosy.

[shrugs.]

Beats the fuck out of me. I can't stand anyone here. Not anymore. I can tolerate people, I can enjoy someone's company, but I just can't be satisfied.

[... well, there goes his hoping to help someone. he falls silent. is he thinking or just wishing he could disappear for him?]

I got two robots I need to take care of. Both are pretty useless to me, they seem more interested in each other than anything else.

Don't really care, I'm about two seconds from handing them over to someone else. I don't have the right mind to try and convince them that I'm a good guy.

Not now. Not anymore. I'm done crying.

[he's sitting up now, looking at him with concern.]

... uh, I...

... sorry.

Sorry. I'm just pissed ... I need a hot shower.

Nah. It's... it's okay. I get why you're mad.

I'd be pretty pissed and sad if I could feel anything.

[there's a small little frown there.]

... good luck with the shower.

[there's a long silence, and then he snorts, looking over with a lopsided smirk.]

Wanna come with?

[oh, h-ha ha. he blinks a few moments, then looks around. awkwardly stands up, stretching.]

Ah-ha. Sure, why not?

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