kingdomdressing | (no subject)

[mumbles.]

...Yeah. Maybe not.

[laughs, though it's more of a breath bursting past his lips too fast.]

Don't worry. You'll forget all about it when you find a way back.

[lifts his head, chin pressing against the tops of his knees for a second and a half before he decides he really doesn't want to look up yet. it's much easier talking to his knees, anyway.]

I guess I should ask, because if you haven't already figured it out after all this time, I'm as dense as a fucking doorknob, but... are we done?

[ riku's having a more enjoyable time seeing how far he can smoosh his face into his arm, anyway. ]

I wasn't tryin' to start something in the first place.

[his nose is starting to hurt with how hard he's trying to force it between his knees.]

That's- that's not what I meant...

[ o-oh.

doesn't know whether to laugh, or yell, or do something else altogether. ]

I said it's stupid, I didn't say I wanna b- br-

[ he's so tired of hearing those words that he can't even bring himself to say them, poor riku. ]

[sighs heavily, relieved and nauseated at the same time, which is a very, very weird feeling that he'll be glad to never experience again.]

Sounded like you wanted to for a second. Can't blame me for asking.

[ glares over his peripheral. ]

I'm mad at me, not you, not him.

You really shouldn't be.

[ow, ow, nose.]

If I said anything else about it you wouldn't believe me.

[ it's still my fault, i could've treated him better. ]

[clasps his hands together over the back of his neck, elbows pressing into his thighs.]

Believe it or not, I actually can't remember a time when I've doubt anything you said. Not saying you have to tell me anything, just clarifying.

[ shuts his eyes. ]

I just blame myself. It's not like "Riku's a big silly jerk" was ever meant as a joke.

Sometimes. You're only a jerk sometimes.

[lifts his head again and rests his chin on his knee, staying like that this time.]

About as often as you smile.

Probably more than we think, so I don't blame him, obviously.

He didn't leave because of you.

It can't have helped matters either.

It had nothing to do with that. You heard him- you know that.

You don't know 'cause people never tell the whole truth.

[ riku is a prime example ... ]

[ pushes his hands to his eyes. he's feeling like a real heel right about now. ]

Whatever, I'm tired of fighting.

I'm... I'm gonna go walk or. Something. I'll be back later.

[scrubs his hands against his face and stands.]

[ resumes staring at the floor. he thought maybe that'd be enough to set things aside, but apparently not. ]

I'm not tired of you.

[ oops, speaking before thinking. ]

[pauses mid-reach for the bucket. he blinks, then closes his eyes and releases a breath at the same time that the corner of his mouth tugs a little.]

... I'm just going to brush my teeth.

[because vomit-ginger breath isn't all that attractive, nor is it enjoyable.]

[ can't see it, and he's a little (inaccurately) preoccupied with not being a tool and trying to be ... genuine, for once. ]

Was that wrong?

[ poor backwards riku, for all his smarts, he looks so lost. ]

[moves to kneel in front of him, fingers reaching out and pushing through his hair again, only this time he shifts forward to lean his forehead against his, eyes closed.]

... No.

... [ well doesn't he feel like the bashful little kid sora used to goad into playing tag, disarmed once again. roxas is too good at that. ]

[bumps his nose against his and then straightens up, offering him a hand.]

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