hoo boy, more talking

[dominatingly.livejournal.com]

[well, someone's up extra early - four in the morning to be precise - and meandering over to the room he shares with brbstreaking. of course, he finds the guy asleep, but as he's failed to himself and wants to get things figured out sooner rather than later, he pokes the guy's sleepy face]

Sora?

[pokepokepoke what's patience?]

Comments

[brbstreaking.livejournal.com]

[zzzz---

wakes up!]

Nnh? Hey...

[dominatingly.livejournal.com]

[victory for mother Russia!]

...Hi.

[f-failure for mother Russia]

[brbstreaking.livejournal.com]

[just gives him a sleepy smile, tugging him]

Mmmmm....how're you?

[dominatingly.livejournal.com]

I'm alright I guess.

[stays put]

Can we talk?

[brbstreaking.livejournal.com]

[....nods slowly, rubbing his eyes]

'kay, sure. Sit down?

[dominatingly.livejournal.com]

[takes a seat on the bed like a good puppy]

Riku said you two talked.

[great start for Russia, right?]

[brbstreaking.livejournal.com]

[was just about to hug you, then pauses]


....Oh. Yeah.

[dominatingly.livejournal.com]

[for being as casual as he is about some things, this sure is awkward]

Anything you'd like me to know?

[brbstreaking.livejournal.com]

...Nooope, chances are he spilled all my dirty secrets.

[dominatingly.livejournal.com]

Unless you actually wear pink panties...

[brbstreaking.livejournal.com]

[frowns]

...So he didn't tell?

[dominatingly.livejournal.com]

[shrugs]

See previous statement.

[brbstreaking.livejournal.com]

...Oh.

[plucks at the covers]

I...I guess there's nothing that's important then...

[bottomsforall.livejournal.com]

[c-catches him before he goes in]

Hey, I've been looking for you.

[dominatingly.livejournal.com]

...You've been up?

[bottomsforall.livejournal.com]

Mm, yeah.

[leans in for a kiss]

[dominatingly.livejournal.com]

[looks down, avoiding that kiss even if he doesn't really want to]

I had a talk with Sora.

[bottomsforall.livejournal.com]

[...not sure what to say to that]

All...right?

[dominatingly.livejournal.com]

[just...keeps looking at the floor]

I can't just throw him away, not when he's...I can't do that to someone like him.

[pauses, trying to sort out his thoughts. he didn't think he'd care enough about anyone to have this hard a time]

If I did, he wou;dn't even get angry with me.

[bottomsforall.livejournal.com]

...R...Roxas, what's...

[just staring, eyes wide]

[dominatingly.livejournal.com]

It's not fair to want anyone to settle for some of my attention. When it was customers, it wasn't like I cared about them, but...it's not right if I can't give you all of that now.

[just stays very, very still]

I can't do that when someone else could focus only on you.

[bottomsforall.livejournal.com]

[there's so much that he wants to say, so much that he should could would say but-- just. just stares, eyes wide]

I love you.

[w-well, not quite what he wanted to say, but it's all he can think of saying, because he does, so fucking much]

I'm sorry, I - I do, I just. I don't. I-

[dominatingly.livejournal.com]

[he's doing his best not to get upset - he's not allowed to, when all this is his fault, and trying to keep his voice even, he's quieter than he'd usually be]

I love you too. I got jealous as fuck when you had sex with Axel, but I...for years I've been with so many people. And that's not even...

[lets out a shaky sigh, trying to arrange his thoughts. and probably failing]

If I don't even have to work here, it's wrong that I can't just push someone else away. I can't do that to you, or expect you to be alright with that, no matter what you said. That's not fair of me.

[bottomsforall.livejournal.com]

...why didn't you ever tell me. I thought. God, Rox, I thought I was just like a customer to you, and I fucking adored the ground you walked on.

[tries to reach out to touch him at least]

But I love you. I'll share, I will, if I have to.

[dominatingly.livejournal.com]

How do you adore the ground someone fucks up on every five seconds?

[there's an almost bitter little laugh there, though Roxas is staying put]

It just lets people hurt you more, loving them. I'm sure I've hurt you plenty.

You can't be fine with that.