well i'm down for the count.

[knowsyoursecret.livejournal.com]

[miserable Axel is miserable. if his face wasn't buried in the couch cushions, anyone would be able to tell how upset he really was. he wants his Riku, more than anything]

((ooc: specifically wants skymning_land, but feel free to have anyone bug him~))

Comments

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

Uh, you know, I don't think anyone here has money.

So you might wanna stop looking for change.

[look who's in front of him, in some large pajamas and a plate of spaghetti in his hand.]

[knowsyoursecret.livejournal.com]

[oh fuck, that voice... he lifts his head after a moment's hesitation, unable to hide his red puffy eyes]

...Ri.

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[that plate clatters to the floor and he doesn't care about glass in his feet, he's just going over to him with a hand to his mouth.]

--Axel, what the hell happened?

[knowsyoursecret.livejournal.com]

[he's desperately trying to hide his face all over again, not wanting Riku to see him like this]

R-roxas...

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[a soft sigh and he doesn't let go of him, intently looking at him with light seagreen eyes.]

What'd he do? --did he say he didn't want you to sleep with us?

[he's guessing, as that's what he wanted Riku to ask last time...]

[knowsyoursecret.livejournal.com]

[swallows thickly, shaking his head weakly]

N-not exactly...

[fingers latch onto Riku's shirt desperately as he tries to find the words, his voice shaky]

...heleftus.

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[a pause, before he freezes.]

... he... what?

[knowsyoursecret.livejournal.com]

Ri... he left us...

[chokes on a sob, tears welling up in his eyes all over again]

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[his hands are shaking, and the hand over his has gone completely cold. but he says nothing, he just pulls a paper towel from his pocket and gives it to Axel hurriedly. he's calm. composed. except his hands are shaking, and his eyes look far off.]

[knowsyoursecret.livejournal.com]

[he gratefully takes the paper towel, blowing his nose and wiping at his cheeks]

I swear, I didn't--

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[he can even feel his heartbeat in his chest. no. he'll be a good little actor, and he gives a smile. it's the best he can do, to hide his own pain and the tears he wants to shed. acting is what he's supposed to do, so he can act for a little while.]

I don't blame you... besides, he probably found someone b-better. Or older. Or not as immature... it's not our fault, it's no one's fault, it's...

[his voice feels so sore, and he's just staring ahead. fuck. he can't cry now, he has to be strong, and he forces that smile to stay on his lips.]

[knowsyoursecret.livejournal.com]

[reaches up with a trembling hand, cradling Riku's cheek]

I-it's not that... he was convinced that you'd stop loving him.

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[... it's then when a tear goes down his cheek. and another on the opposite, but he doesn't even notice.]

He... what... but I love him...

[knowsyoursecret.livejournal.com]

[leans close, kissing those tears away]

I know you do, Riku... I know. B-but he wouldn't listen.

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[he doesn't move for a while, eyes fluttering closed. hands clasp against his chest, and he's so quiet as he murmurs.]

Why...? I just wanted us all to be happy, was that such a hard thing to ask for? You love him and I love him and he... I thought... a year... almost two...

[knowsyoursecret.livejournal.com]

[clings to the younger teen, breath wheezing in and out his lungs as he tries to soothe him]

I wanted that too, Riku... I did!

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

Y-you'll be okay, Axel. I know you will, you'll really be okay. I know he loves you somewhere deep inside... people are mean to the people they really love, after all...

[he doesn't sob, he's staying perfectly calm as he blinks hard, making the tears stop.]

[knowsyoursecret.livejournal.com]

I'm worried about you, sweetheart. I-I know you love me... and I love you too. How can he hate us?

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[he's quiet, very quiet, and he's suddenly clinging onto him as hard as he can, hiding his face in Axel's chest.]

[knowsyoursecret.livejournal.com]

[strokes Riku's hair, holding him close to his chest as he does his best to hold back the tears that are welling up all over again. whispering in a broken voice:]

I love you... I love you, Riku...

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[it's quiet, it's a bare mumble--]

It's me, it's... me, isn't it. I did something wrong and now he hates both of us... I-I'm sorry, I'll be good now. I'm sorry...

[knowsyoursecret.livejournal.com]

N-no, it's not your fault.

[arms tighten around him, heart hammering in his chest]

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[it's a choked laugh, pained before he stills.]

[knowsyoursecret.livejournal.com]

It really isn't. I really just think he needs time to... straight everything out.

[murmurs in his ear, cheeks covered in salt]