kingdomdressing | (no subject)

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riku

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[ he feels like a child again, walking around the dr all alone. he knows he's lost; it's worse when everyone around looks like, acts like, is someone he knows or knew.

Riku stops. he's tense; scared and intimidated, he's gone into defensive mode. he doesn't make eye contact; he doesn't look at others for very long without feeling like he's lost his identity.

and he would know all about that. ]

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Am I, or is it all in your head. Our head.

[leaning back against the wall, brushing his bangs from his face.]

Even your posture is defensive. I read something somewhere about this.

Like how folding your arms creates a "barrier" between you and other people.

[... glare coming your way.]

I didn't know I was a psychologist. You just did the same thing, genius.

[ c- caught. ]

So? I just proved my point.

[shrugs.]

That just means you're defensive too. Not really proving your point, since you were being offensive and saying that I was being defensive.

Unless you want to go into the old 'a good defense is the best offense' stuff which no one believes.

Either way, not proving your point.

Who's the one giving the long-winded explanations here?

Not too long-winded, just clearing up some facts.

You're being pretty defensive right now.

[and so he turns to walk away.]

[ no friends and no place to go. Riku is the best ever!

so of course he's going to follow for about... three steps. ]

I was just joking.

[pause, glances back at him.]

... joking. Right.

I was. You don't believe me?

[shrugs.]

I think I know myself, but I can't exactly believe you.

Why can't you?

Because you're me.

[and he continues walking now.]

I'm not a liar.

[ doesn't follow. now he thinks he's just annoying. ]

Never said you were.

[he looks back at him and raises an eyebrow. he just doesn't trust himself, and that stretches to any other Riku.]

[ that lack of trust shouldn't hurt Riku like it does. honestly Riku doesn't trust himself; literally facing it is painful. ]

I think it's insinuated.

I think you're overreacting to something you've known since day one.

[he's turned to look at him dead-on, arms at his sides.]

[ face your fears; it's head-on for Riku here on out. ]

What is that?

[hands in his pockets, he gives him a good look.]

You can't expect me to just say the answer. I thought you were all about finding things out for yourself, Riku.

I am. I'm searching my heart for what I want to know.

[ it's a good shot, or so he thinks. ]

Then it sounds like you don't need me to tell you.

For all you know, I could be a figment of your imagination.

Or my shoulder angel.

Or your shoulder devil, depending on how you're viewing me at the minute.

It wavers.

Good. It should.

[there he goes again, walking away.]

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