kingdomdressing | i dreamed i was dying as i so often do

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axel

i dreamed i was dying as i so often do

[Axel's still in his room, on his bed. His coat and shirt were on the floor, the room was starting to feel stuffy and uncomfortable. He'd been up a few times, obvious enough by the cans of soda on the bedside table next to him that hadn't been there when Roxas had dragged him back here, half-awake and half-alive. The 'power outage' had thrown him a little, he'd felt a little vulnerable, but he knew right away when it was back. That familiar warmth was at his fingertips, he could light a flame in his hand at will again. He had the energy to do it, too, now that he'd gotten some rest.

He was sitting up, the scars on his arms and chest earlier had nearly disappeared now with his second or third X-Potion, but it wasn't really all that easy to tell. His knees were drawn up close to his chest and an arm wrapped around them. The other was resting across his knees, and he was snapping his fingers.

snap. A small flame flickered to life at his fingertips, burned the miniscule amount of energy he was willing to put towards it, and died out within a few seconds. snap. The same thing happened again.

He watched it with grim fascination each time.]

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I'm tired. That's all.

Really, I'm fine. [Stops doing that thing with the fire and looks up at Roxas.]

Don't worry about it.

... If you're tired, you should sleep.

[Sits up, scooting a little closer to Axel.]

You just... speak like that when something's wrong, normally...

I've been sleeping more than enough, I don't think I could if I wanted to.

I told you, nothing's wrong.

[Huffs, deciding just to drop it. If Axel won't even say he doesn't want to talk about it, then it's pretty much a lost cause at the moment. So he settles for just silently pushing himself up, crawling across the bed until he is next to Axel, and lightly wrapping his arms around Axel's waist, letting his forehead rest on the other's shoulder.]

[Looks a little surprised at Roxas at first. He knows the blond isn't happy with him after what had happened. The expression fades, though, and Axel just takes a deep breath, in through his mouth, out through his nose, exhaling slowly.]

[Just keeps one arm curled around the front of Axel's waist - it's sort of stuck there anyways, with the red head's legs drawn so close to his chest - letting his other arm shift to Axel's back, where his fingers start lightly kneading the muscles there.]

[He seems to enjoy that, making a small noise of appreciation, but his expression doesn't change.]

...

I don't want to die, Roxas.

[He keeps messaging Axel's back, hand shifting to a new spot every now and then.]

...

I'm not going to let you die. Ever.

But you... I almost... And...

Shit, Rox... [His head falls forward, his forehead cradled in his knees.]

[Wraps his other arm back around Axel's waist, squeezing a little. He presses closer to Axel, clenching his teeth.]

I... I'm going to get a lot stronger, so I can protect you. And I won't let anything bad happen to you anymore and I'll stay with you so you won't die.

You're... the most important person in the world to me... I'm not going to let you die.

...

[shakes his head]

No, Roxas. I'm going to protect you. I should be protecting you.

I'm sorry, I made a stupid move. I won't do that again.

It's not fair that you're always the one saving me. It's not. [grip tightens around Axel's waist] And whenever you need help, I can't do anything... I feel so damn useless.

I can take care of myself, all right? [pauses. He hadn't meant to snap at Roxas, really.]

... I'm sorry. It's just... Being weak, it's not really my style. I don't need someone else to save me. I don't want to need someone else to save me.

How do you think I feel? I'm so sick of getting into trouble and you bailing me out, and you getting hurt on my account...

I know you don't want anyone to save you... I just want to be able to help you when you really need it.

Always being there for you when you need me is the only way I can really show you how much I care.

...

...

But... I need you just as much as you need me. [sighs resignedly]

... I already know that you care about me, you don't need to prove it... I can't stand it when you get hurt trying to protect me.

[Lets out a low huff and curls closer to Axel.] That's why I'm going to stay with you, and make sure that you don't die...

... Yeah.

Just... Been kinda freaking out these past few days. Sorry.

It's alright... I can't blame you. I think I would be too...

[Lifts up his head to rest his chin on Axel's shoulder, peering at the other.]

[can [practically feel Roxas' eyes on him]

... What?

[shrug] Nothing...

Have things calmed down out there? That weapon ban stirred things up quite a bit...

It seems like things have calmed down... It was pretty bad. Parts of the dressing room got lit on fire...

... Really? Wow. What were they thinking, starting that nonsense...

Who knows... [shrug]

... Hey, if you know what is supposed to happens to you in the future... what's supposed to happen to me?

I... I don't really know?

I'd assume you... Find Sora. [frowns]

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