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[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

[Lexaeus is at a stovetop, grilling up a seafood spread - fish and shrimp, and in one pot, even lobster. He peppers the fish lightly, and then reaches for some citrus fruits to accompany the shrimp. Not breaking his routine at all, he speaks.]

Sora, I have your camera for you.

[And then back to cooking.]

Comments

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

I had already done my exercises and meditation for the day. So there was nothing to delay me from finding one.

[Out comes from a coat pocket a small digital camera, handing it over to Sora. Once that's done, he's reaching down into a cupboard for a light honey glaze for the shrimp.]

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

Down one long hallway and into a neatly arranged room with various tools arranged on desks. It looked like nobody had been in there in months.

Mm. Can't keep cooking wearing this.

[Off comes the standard organization jacket, folded and promptly put away, as black leather and heavy temperatures do not mix. Just a plain sleeveless shirt and loose pants underneath - nothing fancy at all. Flipping the fish over to grill the other side.]

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

It's part of paying attention to one's health. I need to be able to make food for myself if I am to watch what I eat. Though I allow myself indulgences - such as the lobster, with butter.

I think it's a skill everyone should know, to prepare their own food.

[Cuts off a slice of lemon - squeezes it onto the fish.]

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

Do you have a tendency to walk away from the popcorn to watch or do something when you're cooking it?

[Leaves the fish and shrimp alone for now - peering up into the pot to see how the lobster is doing. Looks like he'll be done sometime soon.]

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

I see. Cooking usually requires nearly all of someone's focus, as things can easily go wrong if one is not watching the food.

[Turns off the heat for both pans, as well as the pot, finished. Now just to retrieve dishes.]

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

It's good to know the basics, though. Boiling water and the like.

[He's pulling out - two plates? And two glasses, two etc, etc. Sets out the fish, the shrimp, and goes to get a sieve to dump the pot into so he can get the lobster without jamming his hand into still boiling water.]

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

Yes.

[Sets the lobster on a centerpiece, putting it on a table along with a dish of butter he melted earlier. The cups are filled with water, and all that's left now is to get utensils.]

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

I hope you will, yes.

[What. Lexaeus sits down, still tall as hell in a chair.]

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

You wanted to talk more. Dinner is a good opportunity to talk. Besides which, I'm not sure how much - or what - you're eating while you're in this crossroads.

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

One: You'll develop some health issues with that kind of diet, and I don't just mean cavities. Two: I was going to cook dinner anyway. And since it's unhealthy to eat a whole lobster by the self, or to just waste it by discarding half, then it's just as well to split it.

Thirdly, I don't have to do anything. But I'd rather not waste food.

Are you going to eat, then?

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

How do you expect people to treat you?

[Lexaeus sets out a tiny lobster cracker, since, unlike Lexaeus, he figures Sora can't do it with his bare hands. There's enough shrimp and fish for boths of them as well. He takes his fork and knife, neatly cutting into his own share of the fish.]

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

Like a quick release?

[Blunt Lexaeus is blunt. Forking the fish into his mouth, cutting up more.]

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

So neither you nor most of your partners know each other that well.

[Big chunk of the fish now, chewed, then swallowed down. Next, popping off some of the lobster using just his hands.]

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

[Laying hot butter over the lobster. Lexaeus usually doesn't eat something this fattening, but, like he said - occasional indulgences. Cracks the meat out and chews, savoring the taste.]

Mm. It's good that you have someone, then. Is he here, or back at your home?

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

He doesn't mind your hobbies, as you call them?

[Back to his fish - a few more cuts and bites, and he finishes up with his own share. Onto spearing the shrimp.]

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

The same problem.

You would both appear to have borderline nymphomania, then.

[Sets his fork and knife down, to simply patiently look at Sora.]

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

It only satisfies briefly, doesn't it?

[Back to his shrimp, getting piece after piece, always carefully removing the tails.]

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

Is it only just now becoming an urge to break that cycle, and stay with only your Roxas?

[Half of his shrimp have been eaten up. Back over to the lobster, eating up another butter coated piece.]

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

You want to have cake and eat it, too, essentially. The rush of multiple partners and the comfort and security from having only one.

[Eats up the rest of his shrimp slowly, taking more time to enjoy the flavor now.]

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

I see.

[Another shrimp, swallowed, clearing out his share.]

Have you told him that?

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

In matters of sex, your confidence is nearly unrivaled.

But when you get down to the core emotions in your heart, you turn shy. When someone shows you kindness unrelated to wanting your body, you blush.

[Lexaeus takes a gulp of his own water, washing the butter down.]

You haven't told anyone but me that you love him, have you?

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

Mm.

[Chews over the last bit of his half of the lobster, before slowly swallowing.]

Are you afraid, because you don't know what will happen if you tell him?

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

Sex is something you can control, to a degree. You know the end results. But you know little of love, so you fear it.

In short, you don't know how to act around someone when there's no sexuality involved anymore. You also get tense when someone has no sexual interest in you. Which explains some of your awkwardness around me.

You've lost touch with that feeling, essentially.

[Drinks the rest of his water, neatly setting his glass down.]

You should eat the rest of your food.

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

It is. So you're torn between fear and hope. Fear that the long term will fail and fall apart, and hope that it'll give you greater satisfaction than what you have now. And your inexperience with the latter makes it all the more difficult to try it.

[emptiedcup.livejournal.com]

Mm.

But come to it, you want to try. You simply have no idea how.

[And Lexaeus stands up, putting the dishes away.]