kingdomdressing | (no subject)

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heartless

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[Kurt knew he shouldn't have taken that last left on his way back. It'd looked like a shortcut, but - well.

This corridor - wide corridor, narrow room, hard to tell - is ... cute.

Not just cute. Pastel, fluffy. An avenue of perfect little trees with perfect little apples on them leads down it, all decorated in ribbons. The walls look almost like they could be made of candy - perfect gingerbread house material. Little creatures - teddy bears, ponies, you name it - keep popping their heads out from upstairs windows. A stream winds back and forth across his track, with brilliantly yellow little ducks quacking their happy way along. And can he hear music?

For a Heartless, this is all rather ... disconcerting.
(Understatement.)]

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Uh huh. Kira. She loves everything cute and cuddly and disgustingly happy.

... she's full of Light.

[that probably explains everything]

Ah. [He chuckles. It explains a lot.]

In that case - hah. I suppose I can see why she would have a taste for such a ... display.

She's also a girl. I don't think they think the same as guys do.

[Huh. Given such differences are largely cosmetic to Heartless, and Layla's hardly started asking about dates, he gives another curious look.]

How would you say?

They just... are. They're... softer. Nicer, most of the time. They think about way too many things at once.

[oh great ask the Replica who's been badly socialized about girls :/]

[His ex was a literal cosmic force of nature. He doesn't have the widest information base to work from.]

Hm. I see.

[it's the blind leading the blind]

Girls are just... I think it's better to just agree with most of what they say even if it doesn't make sense. You get yelled at less that way.

[Chuckling a bit-] I can say I've more things to worry about in life than if someone shouts at me.

[Such as imminent risk of stabby death 'n all.]

I dunno. Kira can get pretty screechy sometimes. And when she's really angry, her Light flares out.

Really? Well, now. There's something I don't hear every day.

[Light person getting angry? Ha.]

Just because she's full of Light, doesn't mean she didn't get my Uncle Ri's temper. She's no Princess, after all.

[He chuckles a bit.] Oh, of course.

This place is really something though. Makes me want to take my blades to it.

It's tempting, isn't it? I'd half expect the scenery to dissolve into sugar if it were destroyed.

My teeth hurt just thinking about it. I'm almost afraid of what would happen if you did try and destroy something. The results probably won't be pretty.

[paranoia ho~]

Less pretty than it already is, hm?

I mean that the cuteness might multiply in revenge. That just might kill us outright.

[Pause.]

...That might be the most hideous end I've yet considered.

See? It would be just like this place to have a trap like that. Like a Barrel Spider, but way more disgusting.

[Hey, some of his best friends are Barrel Spiders. Or would be. Two arms get folded at that one.]

It's simply their habitat. Although deception as a whole? Hah. Yes.

[he doesn't mind Barrel Spiders either, they're fun to bash for stuff]

Right. So maybe you take a whack at one of those trees, and then suddenly you're buried in fluffy bunnies. Or kittens. Or maybe you get turned into a kitten.

[A hiss-]

The thought's unbearable.

Better to be safe than sorry. No matter how much I wanna set this place on fire.

[He gives a vicious nod.] It'd be better to be through here as quickly as possible, then, I would say.

Right. It might start raining puppies or something.