kingdomdressing | (no subject)

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sora

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[Sora has been rather distant from... Well, everyone, since his last meeting with Ri. He's almost fully recovered from his incident with the Vanitas Remnant, but he hasn't shown up to training at all, and is instead headed off, currently, to go play video games or something with a bowl of nachos drenched in cheese under one arm.

He's been in a perpetually bad and rather distant mood as of late. Almost like he's trying to close himself off. He'll still talk, but he won't try to put forth much effort into making friends. Oops.]

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[Oh, that's got his attention.]

...Heartless?

Uh huh. Kurt's my friend! I attack him all the time to get stronger. And the Heartless kitties visit me when they feel like it. And then there's Kai, but he's not a Heartless. And Apricot is a bunny, so he doesn't care about Hearts, just food.

[yes, tiny-Replica pretty much only has three friends]

...I didn't know there were Heartless who could think beyond their hunger. Well, besides Ansem.

[Trying to stop calling him Dad.]

Kurt can. He can even make himself look like a person, instead of Heartless-y, because he's really huge. Besides, Heartless don't care about me. I don't have anything they want yet.

..."Yet?"

[People can grow hearts or something?]

My Heart is Fake. But once I'm strong enough, Creator said he'd finish me, and then I'll be Riku.

...Why would you want to be Riku and not just you?

[Really.]

Because Riku is who I was made to be. Even if Riku is really stupid. He's afraid of his Darkness. I'm not.

It shouldn't matter who you were made to be. You're you and isn't that what matters?

[At least to this Sora, anyway.]

... Kai says stuff like that sometimes. But I'm me, and I was made to be Riku. I'll be super strong and finished, you'll see.

And I was raised by Ansem and told that no one was worth anything. So?

I just wanna be strong. Besides, I can't be Real until I'm Riku.

...Why can't you be strong on your own?

Because I can't. My Heart isn't finished, so it stops sometimes.

[does that sound horrifying? because it's supposed to be horrifying]

Can't someone fix it?

Creator can. When I'm strong enough.

No one else can?

I don't know anyone else. Even Kai couldn't do anything and he's a Prince.

...Well, then, we'll find someone else. You shouldn't stop being you just to make someone else happy.

But isn't making other people happy what you're supposed to do? That's what Kai says.

Is it worth it if you aren't you? I think there's a kind of balance. If you do everything other people want of you, you won't be happy.

I'm not anything right now.

...I dunno about that. I'm talking to you, aren't I? You're concerned with making friends, too, right?

Yeah. But that's because all my friends go away.

...I'm here.