kingdomdressing | (no subject)

Melia... when was the last time you did something that made Riku happy?

Edited 2010-11-07 07:17 (UTC)

What are you talking about?

[Yes, it is possible to be that clueless.]

When was the last time you did something for Riku that made her smile? Something that she actually wanted, something that was for her, and not just something you thought was for the best, no matter her opinion on it?

I can't name everything I've done for Riku, but I know that I've made her happy, Kai. And I know she'll be happier later on when she sees everything I've done for her happiness.

Just like what you're doing to make sure I'm happy, huh. Insulting my relationship and everything I've done here, saying I'll regret what is possibly the best thing to ever happen to me. Suggesting my lover is below you and in doing so, suggesting I am as well. You're so blind to your own shortcomings it'd almost be funny if it wasn't so upsetting.

[She looks hurt, Kai.]

You're not understanding me at all.

And you aren't understand that it's possible for someone to be happy being in a relationship like mine! Who the hell cares if my husband is just that? I'm happy! Why can't you be happy about that?!

[well so does he. he can't stay calm anymore, because this hurts far too much. this is someone from the place he called home for a good decade, this is someone from his childhood and they won't accept and be happy for him.]

[She actually stands up, palms flat on the table.]

Because you won't be happy! People won't accept you when you leave this place. Life is not ideal, Kai. This is how the worlds work, and you can't get around it. It's not a game. You can't treat it like an adventure forever.

What adventure?! Melia, I've been trapped here for over two years! I can't leave! I haven't even gotten to see the islands in that time, not even once, not even when I was dead! Who the hell do you think you are, telling me I'm acting like this is a game? I've been killed here, I've been tortured, I've been raped-- I'm not an idiot, dammit! I know this isn't a game! It was never a game, it was never an adventure!

And despite all the bullshit I've had to deal with here, I've made a home, and a family, and fuck you if you can't accept it!

[there are tears slipping down his cheeks by the end of that, both hands in white-knuckled fists. he did his best not to raise his voice, he really did, but that was probably audible out in the hallway.]

[She has never expected to hear things like that out of any of the children from the Islands, but especially not Kai. Not just the words he uses, but the things he's describing. He's right, she can't even begin to imagine the horrible things he's been through. She looks horrified, and concerned. Even if she doesn't approve of what he's doing, she does care about him, and to think he's been through all of this... It's definitely too late for her to change tunes, but that's how it goes.]

I... I didn't know. I had no idea.

[he presses his hand to one eye, gritting his teeth and letting out a shaking breath, something not quite a sob.]

I spent months with 'worthless' carved over my heart. I can't eat strawberries without vomiting anymore. And every time I wake up from a nightmare, Axel is right there to calm me down and remind me of just how loved I am.

I know it's hard for you to accept. I'm not the Kai you knew anymore, and I haven't been for a long time. But I'm still happy. Your opinion of me and my relationship... won't change that. Not ever.

[Melia is standing there for a long time, listening to him, and then thinking. Unlike everyone else here, she's not used to any of this. She wasn't even aware things like this happened here, any more than they happen on any other world. She's still in a state of shock. She slides away from the table, abandoning her tea in favor of heading toward the door, the click of her heels hard against the floor. Much like her daughter used to be, Melia is a coward in the face of things she doesn't know how to deal with.]

I hope you stay happy, then.

[he lowers his head, trying not to feel ashamed for yelling at her, because this isn't just some hating stranger. this is family. a few more tears fall and he tries desperately to smile.]

Thank you.

[If he hadn't told her what all he's been through, she'd tell him that her mind hasn't changed either, and she still doesn't think he's making the right decision. But it feels inappropriate to discuss it further now, and she just nods and leaves. She does mean that, at least.]

[as soon as she's gone, Kai crashes back against a counter and sinks down, burying a hand in his hair as he rests his face against his knees. he... is going to need a bit of time to get over this.]

[here comes Axel after a while, since Kai had possibly said he was going to bake things, and it's time for second lunch in any case. Apricot's with him, and hops right over while Axel quietly gets a few cookies before sitting down next to Kai, back against the cupboards. he distracts Apricot with a cookie, and puts his free arm around Kai's shoulders, cuddling him close without speaking just yet.]

[Kai will move to bury his face against Axel, shaking. with him here, and none of the anger left in him, all he can really do is cry.]

[Apricot is in ur kitchen, eetin ur shortbread cookies. or a couple of them, at least. Axel reaches up over his head to put the remaining cookies back on the counter, because this is a two-armed cuddling situation; Kai is getting pulled onto Axel lap, both arms tight around him, soft kisses getting pressed against his hair.]

I love you so much. Nothing will ever change that, okay?

[he'll hug back tightly, like Axel might up and disappear right there. he feels so incredibly miserable right now, like someone tried to take a hammer to his heart.]

[that's... a little unexpected, but not unwelcome at all. bunneh finishes his cookies and climbs up onto Kai's lap for additional comfort.]

Okay. I knew that already, but it's nice to hear it. I love you too, so much it scares me sometimes.

[smooches Kai's damp cheek. <3]

I... Riku's mom is here. She doesn't...

[he swallows, putting a shaky hand on Apricot.]

...doesn't approve of... relationships like ours.

[thinks about this for approximately half a second.]

...so? She's not your mom, or my mom, and even if she was, we're both adults, and we're both absurdly happy, and that's not going to change. Who gives a shit what she thinks, or if she approves? Don't worry about it, her opinion doesn't affect us.

I know. I know, but... it still hurts. She was a constant in my life growing up, and she... it just hurts.

[Axel should know by now how much words can affect Kai, especially when said by someone close to him.]

[kisses his cheek again, and rocks them slightly from side to side. he does know, and he wishes he could make it hurt less for Kai.]

I know, babe. But it looks like you gave her a piece of your mind about what she thinks, since she's not here, and there's an abandoned teacup on the table. You didn't take it lying down, even if it hurt, and maybe she'll change her mind a little now.

I told her... about some of the stuff that's happened to me here.

[you know, the horrible nightmare-giving stuff that he doesn't like bringing up.]

Not in detail... but I told her I'd been tortured and raped here. Because she accused me of treating this all like a game.