kingdomdressing | (no subject)

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future kids,
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(no subject)

You know, this is really unhelpful.

[Says Isi, who is being sat on in the middle of a hallway. By a feathered dinosaur (th-the green one, in that scaling). The dinosaur doesn't seem like it wants to eat him or anything; no, it's just sitting on him. He can't get up. He's dressed rather formally, and is a bit paler than normal. Closer inspection will show he's been dressed up as a vampire for Halloween.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Not much of one for second chances, huh, Shredder?]

Damn. Want me to toss you a rope?

[He's yet to prove he deserves one! But it seems Isi's constant shoving is making him sloooowly move off.]

I'm good, thanks.

[Say the word and he'll do his best. But in that case, he'll just stay where he is, eyes focused on the iguanasaur.]

[Eventually, Isi will be successful in shoving Shredder off, and they'll both stand, the dino ruffling his feathers irritably.]

Can I help you?

--huh? Me?

[He was distracted trying to remember what Shredder's normal form looks like.]

Well, I'm not talking to him.

[He nods to Shredder, who tilts his head a bit.]

I don't see why not. So, you interested in breeding him when he's back to normal?

[Yes, he's serious.]

[Aden is getting a rather disbelieving stare.]

Why?

What do you mean 'why'? For baby iguanas!

[Duh.]

But why do you want them?

Circus training.

[That was sarcasm, by the way.]

Because gigantic iguana babies would be badass. I need a reason?

You do if you expect me to let you breed Shredder, yeah.

It's not like I'm planning on eating them. Giant iguanas would make this world a better place.

Right, I'm so relieved you don't want to breed him to eat his children. Because I really thought you would in the first place.

[So much deadpan. Do you really think that made him feel any better about the idea, Aden.]

[He's not that big on lizard meat, to tell you the truth. Though the eggs he could probably do something with...]

Look, I'm serious. Is that a no?

It's a 'give me an actual reason and I'll consider it.' I'm not going to breed him just because you want a big lizard.

[He waves a hand.]

If I just wanted a big lizard I'd force-feed something from the gardens a growth potion. I think it's pretty badass that he's doing this naturally, or, y'know, without intentional magic.

[Hmmm.]

What would be a better reason?

[Do you want to get laid, Shredder?]

Think of one and maybe you'll find out if it's good enough.

[Shredder's never even tried before. And Shredder is Isi's bro, man, he's not gonna just give some stranger babies from him.]

[You're so cruel. He looks thoughtful for a minute, then shrugs animatedly, palms up, and stuffs his hands in his pockets after.]

You got me. I can't think of anything better than the idea of seeing more of his kind around.

[He is passionate about these things. Or something. But he doesn't look too put out.]

And who would take care of all of them anyway? Iguana clutches aren't a single egg. If they did start getting Shredder's size, it'd be difficult for one person to handle them all.

[That makes him snort.]

You underestimate me.

[Isi still doesn't look very impressed. Nope, Aden's definitely going to have to prove himself if he wants Shredder eggs.]

Maybe. Doesn't change anything.

[He tilts his head up, expression vaguely suspicious.]

Is this about what happened with Kira?

No, this is about me not trusting just anyone with any part of Shredder.

[His hands go up to show he meant no harm.]

Just asking. She has that effect.