(no subject)

[princeflartus.livejournal.com]

[Behold! A pretentious douchewaffle a Marluxia in the middle of a monologue and didn't notice]

Know that I am prince Marluxia Flartus, head of the house of Flartus and ruler of the Flartus empire.

When as a young lad I first ascended to this position- my father the emperor having tragically accidentally strangled himself to death with my bare hands- the houses of Flartus and fenchurch had already been warring for years. We were the stronger and would have triumphed eventually, but Fenchurch fought on, insistent upon delaying inevitable defeat for as long as possible, which was turning into a very long time indeed. Foolish Fenchurch! Refusing to yeild to the superior house: a shamefully insult to the legacy of our Race!

Impatient, I decided that if I could not come to rule the galaxy through force, I should do it by right.

[about now you're thinking: 'I want to marry a weevil' 'christ, does he ever shut up']

Using certain means at my disposal,  had the emperor of Fenchurch killed and the widowed empress brought before me. By marrying her, I would become the rightful head of her house and therefore- already being the head of my own- emperor of the whole galaxy.

[the answer is too bad, you can't marry a weevil no, but that comes with the emperor of the galaxy thing]

But alas! The night before our wedding day, my lady died of a sudden illness, breaking my heart and thwarting my plan. Oh what tradgedy! What sad... stuff!

... HEY! HOW DARE YOU LEAVE WHILE I'M GIVING A SPEECH! And where did your cell- I mean room, go? PRINCESS?

[ooc: see user info]

Comments

[uniquelymale.livejournal.com]

[looks at the earwax he was busily getting out of his ear with his pinky. sorry, were you saying something.]

[princeflartus.livejournal.com]

[...waaaaait, since you aren't the princess' handmaiden, what's a human doing here and not in the kitchens being prepared for the wedding feast/whatever meal was planned for you.]

What are you doing running loose?

[uniquelymale.livejournal.com]

[looks at you like you might be a little on the slow side]

WHAT?

[...he's also had a visit to a certain tea room recently.]

[princeflartus.livejournal.com]

[yup, box of rocks here.]

You're human.

[so very clearly disgusted by this]

[uniquelymale.livejournal.com]

ARE YOU A MAN OR A WOMAN? I FIND IT HARD TO TELL.

[he can't really tell with anyone who has pink hair. for all he knows, they could just be unfortunate in the assets department.]

[princeflartus.livejournal.com]

HOW DARE YOU SPEAK LIKE THAT TO THE HEAD OF THE HEAD OF THE HOUSE OF FLARTUS? I AM PRINCE OF HALF THE GALAXY!

[in a stereotypical future space suit of very little to the imagination this naturally is pretty damn offensive (and yet still a very easy mistake to make since he shaved his neck-beard)]

AND you, human aren't even fit to be served to the servants.

[uniquelymale.livejournal.com]

HOUSE OF FARTS? I DON'T THINK YOU WANT TO PUT YOUR HEAD IN A PLACE LIKE THAT, PRINCE OR NOT.

[vryvryfrigtning.livejournal.com]

[Oh god it's worse than having to sit through Xemnas' speeches. brb pointedly ignoring you.]

[princeflartus.livejournal.com]

[on the positive side you aren't the princess and thus he won't try to repeat himself.]
No. nonononono. NO. I was so close.

[vryvryfrigtning.livejournal.com]

Good for you.

[She sounds utterly bored.]

[rainstormxblue.livejournal.com]

[what. Just stares.]

I...must be dreaming or something...did Terra put something in my drink when I wasn't looking?