kingdomdressing | (no subject)

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namine

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[ Enter a rather drained and older-looking, 22 year-old Naminé, wandering around the garden. Well, not so much drained as she is frustrated. The droop in her shoulders is a good sign that she's in no mood for arguing or even carrying on a conversation with anyone. You can't really blame her, not when she hasn't been in her home (using that term rather loosely) in months and this is the second time she pops up somewhere she doesn't recognize.

Once reaching a small clearing, she finally collapses, hunched over the grass. She takes a few moments to compose herself before she finally looks up again. The sky's taking on the colors of the sunset, it's a pretty sight. But it isn't something she gives mind to, the realization that she's alone finally settling in and making her rather uncomfortable ]

What now ...?

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[WHAT A COINCIDENCE that Roxas happened to come through here a couple of days ago, for no particular reason other than the quiet of it. And maybe a garden, with its requisite flowers, brings some memories with it, too.

So he's back now, again on a whim ... but he stops when he seems someone there. Pausing, he turns to go -- then pauses, looking at her again. The expression on his face changes slowly from curiosity to disbelief. Because ... it can't be her. No way. Could it?

And without realizing he's taken a couple of steps towards her.]

[ TOTAL COINCIDENCE. Not that it's a bad thing.

She stiffened when she heard someone approach, though she wasn't quick to turn around. Maybe she had imagined it, maybe it was the wind. Those thoughts weren't enough to convince her, not when she felt someone there.

After a small pause, she let out a small sigh and pushed herself to a standing position again. It's something her body didn't agree with, making her wobble before she turned around on without giving it more thought. Her breath caught in her throat and she almost lost her balance again, a flood of emotions hitting her right on the spot ]

... Roxas.

[Her wobbling does not make him happy in the slightest, and he's right by her side before he even realizes it, reaching out a hand to steady her, though it's tentative. Like before -- like all the times before they've met like this, sudden and unexpected and unbelievable -- his eyes are searching her face, as if something in her eyes will tell him everything.

But it's her. He just knows it's her, in his bones, and before his expression has time to break he pulls her into his arms and holds her tight.]

[ A sense of relief hits her once she's in his arms; the same familiar relief she had felt so many times before. No matter what the situation had been or how she had felt about it, there would always be that relief whenever she was reunited with him. It was a sense of security, where she could bring down all the barriers and just feel without having to fear anything.

She wrapped her arms around him with what strength she had left, leaning against him, head on his chest. The little trace of doubt that lingered before, the doubt that this could last knowing how unpredictable things had been before, seemed far. Farther than it had ever been ]

Namine.

[he pulls back just far enough to lean his forehead against hers, one hand coming up to stroke her hair. his voice is shaking, a little bit.]

It's ... I didn't know if I'd ...... It's good to see you again.

[ One of her hands comes up to his, taking it and giving a small squeeze of reassurance, the most she could give right now ]

No matter what happened, I... I knew we'd...

[ She closes her eyes, tightening her hold on his hand ]

...

[her kindness is almost too much for him. he lets out a shuddering breath but can't hide a wince.]

[ That gets her attention and she opens her eyes again, now looking at him with slight concern. That... Wasn't normal, she was certain of that much ]

...?

[Winces again, almost pulling away from her, but then he freezes, realizing that might make it worse. So he just hovers there, unable to meet her eyes. His hands are shaking.]

[ The fear is steadily starting to creep in again, but she keeps it at bay, frowning lightly at his response. She tilts her head in an attempt to catch his gaze, biting down on her lip. What isn't he telling her? ]

Roxas ...? You're...

[ He's shaking. She moves to hold his hands in an attempt to steady him, to calm him ]

What is it?

[He jerks instinctively out of her grip when she takes hold of his hands -- and regrets it instantly, but it's too late now. He just stands there shaking like a leaf, looking away from her. All the memories of that night with Xurik are rushing back, and he suddenly feels the burning need to get away from her, before she finds out and she hates him.]

I ... I did ...

[looong pause.]

... do you know ... who Xurik is?

[ The new distance between them hits her like a cold wave and there's a brief hint of pain in her expression because of it. She's still trying to make sense why he's acting this way, why he's avoiding her with such desperation ]

You ...?

[ Xurik? She's silent for a moment, finding the name familiar. She frowns in thought, trying to make sense of the name before it finally hits her. Xurik... He was one of the ones that didn't go down easily. One of the... ]

Yes, I... I know him.

[pause. he was expecting her to say no. it was just an easier way to get into the topic than bringing it up bluntly. so he looks at her, head tilting a little. he does not come any closer.]

... you do? How?

[ This was one of the things she didn't want to remember, one of the things she tried so hard to repress. But some things were just that permanent ]

He... He was one of those... They made me... I worked with his memories.

...

You what? How so?

[ She grimaced, this was a topic she didn't like talking about. But this wasn't something she could avoid at this point ]

It's what I did... With the ones who didn't come in willingly. They... They forced them to conform, so... The way they did that was by using me.

... [okay, he'll step in close enough to touch her face on that, because he doesn't like that at all. but his hand still drops after a moment.]

I wonder if that would explain a lot ... about how Xurik is. He's so different from Riku.

[pause. turns away again, because fuck, memories.]

... We ended up catching Xurik. He was stuck in the camp we had in the White Forest... he nearly killed Sora. He spent most of his free time taunting me. [frown.] I hated him. For nearly killing Sora and for being ... what he was. Since it was all my fault, really.

[pause.]

Then I came to Crucible, and saw you... and then I ended up here. I was sort of okay with that, hoping you'd end up here too, but then ... then Xurik showed up. We fought. He won. I almost died. [flat tone is flat.

but at least he's talking now. but his tone remains remarkably ... dead.] Our second confrontation took place on Halloween. ... we got forced into these ... costumes. ... he used that to take advantage of me.

[pause. pausepausepause. rakes a hand through his hair, expression twisting with revulsion and shame.] ... I slept with him.

[ She almost dismisses her worries when he touches her face, but they all flood back too quickly once he moves away again. But she still tries to make sense of what's going on, what he's saying.

Though she's not happy about it, she isn't surprised. With what she did and what she could imagine happened later, it really didn't come off as surprising.

Almost losing Roxas, though... Almost losing him forever was enough to draw out a reaction from her, to draw that sinking feeling in her chest. She was about to respond when he got to the second confrontation... And that was when her face became a blank, almost incredulous mask ]

... What?

...

[he turns away from her and walks a few steps, unable to face her. after a long moment of silence, he glances over his shoulder at her, face impassive, but his words are barely a whisper.]

Not willingly.

[ She feels dizzy, trying to take all of it in. She shakes her head as an afterthought, widening the distance between them by taking a few steps back herself ]

You didn't...

[ She trails off, covering her eyes with her hands ]

... do I have to say it? That he raped me? Would that get the point across that it was something I didn't want to do?

[his voice is rough with tears and hate and self-loathing.]

... You don't have to say anything.

[ She's so quiet she even surprised herself at the lack of... Emotion, of anything. Though her hands drop slightly, she's fixed her gaze on the grass ]

I get it.

[A sob escapes him. It's quiet, but it's there, it's real. He curses, the sound of it thick.]

[ She finally looks up at him after what seems to be a long while, the place in her chest where a heart would be heavy.

She moves closer to him, one step and then another, before she's finally in front of him again. Her eyes sting as she gently places her hands on either side of his face, guiding him down to her height before she wraps her arms around his neck tightly ]

[It shocks him, this forgiveness, just like it did with Riku. He stares at her with wide, bright, wet eyes, and they only get wider once she wraps her arms around him. Another sob escapes him, and then he's wrapping his arms around her in return, so, so tightly, crying quietly.]

I don't deserve this. I don't deserve forgiveness.

It... It wasn't you...

[ She tightens her embrace a little, leaning her head against his ]

I know you.

[Yeah okay he's just. Going to hold her tight against him until he can stop crying. It may take a while.]

[ It's okay, she'll stay for as long as it takes ]

[Which is good. Because it IS a while. But finally he's silent, just holding her, one hand idly rubbing her back.]

... I'm glad you're here. I really missed you.

Sorry I... I wasn't here sooner.

[ Her embrace got more desperate then, almost as if she were afraid that they would disappear again ]

I missed you too.

... it's not your fault.

[he pulls back his a little, if only so he can look at her, and one arm cinches itself around her waist to free the other hand to cup her face. after a moment, he finally smiles, a tiny thing.]

Well... other than Xurik, this place isn't nearly as bad as Crucible was, so ... maybe we can actually have some time to ourselves, for a while.

[ His smile manages to bring one out of her, the first one in a really long while. She couldn't remember the last time she had smiled and it felt odd, but not in a bad way ]

... I hope we do.

[Heh. That widens his smile a bit, and he presses a gentle kiss to her cheek before allowing at least a little space between them.]

And on the bright side, Riku and Kairi are here, too. Kairi's pretty good at keeping Xurik in check, so hopefully he won't try anything.

[The hand that cupped her face drops to take one of her hands in his.]

Anyway, I can ... show you around, if you want. This place is insane -- there are whole worlds inside the different rooms, here. We call it the dressing room, though I don't actually know why.

[ Her cheeks take on a light shade of pink after he kisses her and she awkwardly fidgets slightly to draw all attention away from it ]

... Oh? Oh, that's good.

[ Sparing a glance down to their hands, she nods ]

Yes, that... That would be nice. I'd rather not get lost like I did before.

[ Smiling in spite of herself, the different worlds manages to catch her attention ]

Is there a beach?

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