kingdomdressing | Not Quite Usual

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Not Quite Usual

[This young Replica is standing wet and naked in the laundry room, kicking at one of the washing machines. It was trying to do laundry, but has failed against the might of the washing machine, which is rumbling ominously.]

Give me back my clothes, you stupid thing!

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[nods] That! Would that make it open?

I tried kicking and beating on it already. It just spits out water at me, and makes angry noises.

[headtilt] Don't crowbars open things? Or maybe you could unplug it.

I tried to unplug it, and it tried to crush me against the wall.

[makes a face] It's not very nice, is it? Can you magic it?

I only know battle magic. I don't want to destroy the machine, because it's got my clothes in it.

[thinks. thinks. He can talk to fish, but that isn't useful right now. Has absolutely no idea what to do.]

Maybe it's mad at you. [there was magic seaweed that didn't give your shells back, he figures this is the same thing.] Maybe you need to apologise.

No! It took my clothes first!

*scowls because it didn't do anything wrong*

[is going to talk to the washing machine for you then.]

Hey! Washing machine, are you mad?

*the washing machine rumbles and shakes a bit louder*

See! [points to the washing machine] It's mad. If you tell it you're sorry, maybe it'll give your clothes back.

*frowns*

Well, I'm not the one who made it mad! I didn't do anything but wash my clothes. I'm not apologizing for anything.

[frowns. He can't apologise for you.]

Maybe it has indigestion then.

*looks startled by that*

It can't eat my clothes! Those are my special Christmas clothes!

Then maybe you should give it something so it doesn't have indigestion and it can give your clothes back. [beat.] Or ask it nicely.

..........................

*kicks the washing machine again, then gets sprayed by water again*

YOU STUPID HUNK OF JUNK GIVE ME BACK MY CLOTHES.

[flails! Which is slightly hard when you're lying down.]

Nicely! It spat water the last time you tried that! [talking to the washing machine now] He's sorry, really and if you could please give back the clothes that would be super-extra-awesome.

*the washing machine makes a roaring kind of noise, and suddenly jets or water and clothes are being spat everywhere*

AUGH YOU MADE IT ANGRIER!

I wasn't trying to! [Currently trying to hide. It isn't working.] At least it's giving the clothes back!

*trying to hide too but yes this is a failure in all respects*

I think it's trying to drown us!

[actually won't drown, but it's nice of you to be concerned.]

It'd be nice if you didn't drown! Mr. Washing Machine, could you please stop?

*the washing machine spits a load of bubbles at you in reply, looking like it's frothing at the mouth*

[frowns, the washing machine acts like a fish] That's not very nice of you. You know, it won't help any if people need to wash their clothes.

Then they'll all just get mad. And maybe they'll hit you too.

Stop talking to it. Who knows what it'll do next?!

*the machine rumbles more, rattling side to side*

But if it does it to someone else, then that would be bad. [eyeing the washing machine] It needs to have a sign or something.

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clockworkboytoy.livejournal.com - 2009-01-16 09:48 (UTC) - Expand

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