(no subject)

[connatus.livejournal.com]

[there's no sense in going back to his room, so Sora's just going to find a corner and sit with an icepack pressed over one of his eyes. he sucks in a breath and lowers his head, murming something under his breath.]

I...don't know how much longer I can take this.

Comments

[maledicentis.livejournal.com]

I busted it... on your face, I think.

[connatus.livejournal.com]

[he shakes his head, but his mask is cracking and his fingers tremble a little around the ice pack.]

I-I don't think so..

[maledicentis.livejournal.com]

[notices the shakes and frowns]

Stop lying, Sora...

[connatus.livejournal.com]

[he wants to keep denying it, but a part of him is afraid that if he does, Axel will just get angry and he'll just create another vicious circle.]

I...

[swallows and glances away, shifting the ice against his eye with a wince.]

...don't worry about it, Axel. O-okay?

[maledicentis.livejournal.com]

How can I not worry, Sora...? I hit you and don't even remember it!

[there's tears welling up in his eyes, guilt washing over him in a thick wave]

[connatus.livejournal.com]

[takes the ice away from his eye, frowning up at the redhead. he's not sure, but seeing Axel looking like that might hurt a little more than getting hit... it's close, either way, and silently, Sora gets up onto his knees and wraps his arms tight around Axel's middle, cheek pressed against his stomach.]

...

[maledicentis.livejournal.com]

S-so sorry...

[wraps his arms around Sora with a sob, burying his face in his hair]

D-didn't mean to...

[connatus.livejournal.com]

[squeezes his eyes shut. god, he hates it when Axel cries, and he hates that it's all his fault, too. Sora sucks in a breath and then sighs shakily, mumbling against Axel's middle.]

It's...i-it's okay, Axel...

[his hands fist the back of the redhead's shirt.]

It...didn't hurt.

[he knows he's risking it for lying, but maybe if he can just convince Axel...]

[maledicentis.livejournal.com]

It's not okay! I know it must have hurt...

[swallows hard]

I said I wanted to change... to not be that person anymore! And then I do something like this...

[connatus.livejournal.com]

[slowly, he lets go of Axel and sits back, not bothering with the ice right now. it was getting too cold anyway and his fingers are a bit numb from holding it. Sora bites at the inside of his cheek, unable to meet Axel's gaze. What is he supposed to do? What is he supposed to say?]

I-I...know I'm not R-Roxas, but...

[...definitely not that.]

[maledicentis.livejournal.com]

I don't want you to be Roxas... he's gone, Sora. I know that. I just... can't get over it.

[his hands slip up Sora's arms, resting on his shoulders]

I'm trying to, I am! I don't want to be like this.

[connatus.livejournal.com]

There are lots of him here, you know...m-maybe yours is a-around somewhere...

[still not looking at Axel. he swallows, and it might almost look like he's trying to push Axel away, but is he? Sora's gaze settles on one of Axel's hands on his own shoulder.]

[maledicentis.livejournal.com]

... even if he was, I wouldn't let him take your place. You're mine, Sora. He's a ghost, a memory. I still love him, but... he's dead.

[this is all said in a low voice, rough around the edges from his tears]