drove through ghosts to get here

[commandingly.livejournal.com]

[sighs quietly, dragging a hand through his hair, and goes on a search, calling his name.]

...Ri...? My Ri, I mean.

[looks shaky, scared even; he's just seen the body of one kid he was close to, and he doesn't know if he can take seeing another]

Comments

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[a Riku's passing by with a school jacket--a familiar-looking one--with his eyes on the floor, coat pulled tight around him.]

[commandingly.livejournal.com]

--Ri!

[jfklsjf hurries forward, following and grabbing one slender wrist tightly]

Ri?

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[jumps, staring back.]

... l-let go. I don't want to talk right now. Not now, he's--...

[he blinks hard and looks away, sucking in a breath.]

[commandingly.livejournal.com]

I know, god- I know--

[looks a little lost, but his hand tightens a bit]

Ri, please, I haven't talked to you in....

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[swallows, grasping the jacket hard.]

... a long time.

[commandingly.livejournal.com]

[glances away]

Too long. I was being stupid. I just.

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

You...

[his voice falters, choking before he closes his eyes, rubbing starting tears away from his eyes. he grasps at the coat again.]

... I need to leave this with him.

[commandingly.livejournal.com]

....Maybe you should wear it?

[murmurs it quietly, gently sliding his hand down to take Riku's]

Will....will you at least look at me?

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[he's got his eyes tightly shut for a moment or two, trying hard to make sure he won't let any more tears loose before he looks up at him, steady. he gives out a choked laugh.]

... it hurts too much now. Knowing you're--

[and he looks away again.]

[commandingly.livejournal.com]

--knowing what?

[whispers it, eyes burning as he slowly steps in front of Riku, arms wrapping around him and pressing a kiss to his forehead]

Ri....

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

Knowing you're not with us anymore. With me.

[so he's trying to push away before staying still, pressing his face against his chest.]

... with him. Why couldn't you two just have gotten along--?

"Ri, lover, I love you, I'm sorry"

[commandingly.livejournal.com]

[holds him tighter when he stays still, breathing in that familiar scent]

I...I'm sorry. I was so stupid.

[rasps it, voice unsteady]

I just. God. God, I thought...I thought maybe you wanted him mo...more than me. So maybe if you two were happy, I just want you happy, and I'm old, and you're.






Ri, amoureux, je t'aime, je suis désolé--

"I love you"

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[shoulders press up.]

I don't want him more. I love you more, that's true. But I want to love him as much as I love you, because everyone deserves love from who they love. You're not old. You're...

[and when he speaks French, he swallows and ducks his head against his chest.]

Te amo.

[commandingly.livejournal.com]

Ne me détestez pas, amoureux--

[exhales shakily, holding him tighter]

No, no, I am. God, Ri, amoureux you could do so much better than me- you have Axel.

[who'd've thought the principal could be so insecure~]

Je t'aime, tellement.

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[sucks in a breath.]

No! Axel isn't better than you, stop saying that. Just because you're older. I like you being older than me. I like knowing that you know more than me.

I love you for you, and that means I don't compare you to others. I don't compare Axel to other people either.

Axel is Axel.

You are you.

Te amo, estúpido. No te olvidas.

[commandingly.livejournal.com]

[just listens to him, arms tight around Riku's body]

You know I'm stupid, amoureux, it's part of my charm.

[murmurs it, just teasing, but god, Axel's dead, and that's all his mind keeps coming back to]

I'm sorry. M'so sorry I didn't return, I wanted to, it's just...I wanted you happy.

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[shakily sighs, head dropping.]

... I was happy with all of us. That's all I wanted. Maybe if you guys get into fights, it's over small things like who gets the last steak or something, and I'm over there, rolling my eyes and cleaning you both up after.

[he chews his bottom lip and closes his eyes. even though he's been to so many--]

I wonder if you can do a funeral here.

[commandingly.livejournal.com]

We'll do one anyway, but I need....I need to see if there's people that can bring others back to life, first.

[exhales slowly, not sure how to do this]

Will....Ri? Will you take me back? Us?

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[sucks in a breath, nodding a bit before looking into his eyes, pondering the question.]

... of course I will. Why would you even ask?

[commandingly.livejournal.com]

[and it's like a weight eases, Roxas' face lighting up as he leans in and kisses Riku hard, holding him tightly]

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[he's caught off-guard at that, but presses back just as hard, clinging to him.]

[commandingly.livejournal.com]

[doesn't do anything else, or even try, pulling away eventually and just holding him]

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

[quiets, pulling away as well and feeling warm in his arms.]

I missed you so much...

[commandingly.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry I failed you and Axel.

[murmurs it, lips touching his forehead]

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

Make it up to us. Love us. Hold us when we're cold.

[soft, quiet.]

All we want is you, no matter your... 'failures' or whatever.

[commandingly.livejournal.com]

No matter the fact I'm a pedophile?

[laughs quietly, sighing and kissing the curve of Riku's neck]

Promise. I will.

[skymning-land.livejournal.com]

I like you better that way.

[flutters his eyes closed, sucking in a breath.]

... then let's get someone to revive him. We've got to.

[commandingly.livejournal.com]

Alright.

[takes his hand, dropping another kiss on his cheek, and then starts off]